If someone kisses me and I don't want him to, is that assault?)

assault= touching without consent of the person being touched, knowing they don't want to be touched. (or being reckless/wilfully blind about whether they want to be touched, which is the fuzzier area of course).

So, unless you told the guy "lay it on me, big boy", so that he thought you did want it - kiss without consent = assault.

As did the handcuffing of Rebecca in my view. That said, not sure his kissing her was an assault, since he was going in for that slowly enough that she had the opportunity to say 'back off' or step away. in that context, he could have the belief she's into it...the handcuff is not a reasonable leap from the kissing, though, in terms of his belief about her consent. in my opinion, anyway .

Consent in a sexual context can be so complicated because it's all so often unspoken - nobody wants to stop at every stage of the process and say "is it okay if I move my hand here now? how about here?". It goes on body language and eye contact and mutual groping.

What's interesting to me about the BDSM context is that in some ways there's less room for misunderstanding, because the rules have to be negotiated beforehand, if it's being done ethically (if that's the right word). So the lines are clearly known beforehand.

Colin: Pride & Prejudice, Bridget Jone's Diary, Fever Pitch, Girl with Pearl Earring

Also the aforementioned Apartment Zero with Hart Bochner.

A Clive Owen movie which is too talky and reveals its origins as a stage play but will still break your heart-- Bent.

You get to see Clive kissing the cute boys, plus lots of good good good acting.

Colin Firth is mostly just boring.

I say good day to you, Jessica!

I don't think anyone's arguing that the cuffing was warranted, or asked for, or an okay thing -- he was a dick, and if he thought she was interested (as I think he did), it was still a dickish bad letting-down-the-side this-is-why-he-got-banned stupid thing to do.

I guess I just think that intent wasn't there. And I know intent isn't the be-all end-all of a thing, but I think legally it counts for something, right? Like, the difference between manslaughter and murder? And morally... yeah, I guess I do think it counts for something. Which doesn't make it okay. At all. I'd be freaking out even without past trauma. But it doesn't make him a rapist. Or... okay, I kind of forget what I was arguing about.

And I'm still puzzled about how they identified the stalking-horse (ha!) from last week's episode. All they had was a nose under a hoodie!

You people sure write a lot out S&M. You're either really into it, or WISH you were!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, and !

Tim, you misspelled !!!!!1!!!111!!!!!

Tim, you forgot the eleventy-one. Call yourself a netspeaker.

Damn. The joke's just not as funny when you're the second one making it.

Off to catch a bus. Still wearing silver nail polish from dancing. Hoping work won't notice.

So those assless leather pants I got Tim for his birthday this year should get returned then.

Still wearing silver nail polish from dancing. Hoping work won't notice.

::secretly hoping work *does* notice and accuses Emily of being into S&M to the power of eleventy one::