I say this with love, but you all know that you are BIG GIANT FREAKS, right?

If you had a muffeletta you'd understand.

you asked specifically what you were eating if you only ate the olives. I think in that instance, you're eating olives.

I was going by the bit of his argument I now see he has now discarded.

Because now he seems he thinks there is an irreducible essence too. Which involves bread, so far.

(blinking)

I just realised something - I'm arguing about sandwich zen.

Hooookay, time to go contemplate my belly button.

So you're saying that, if you put the meat and cheese and olives onto a sub roll, you'd still have a muffaletta, rather than a sub with olives?

It would be a poor muffeletta but would have greater claim to that name than having everything but the olives on the proper bread.

Because now he seems he thinks there is an irreducible essence too. Which involves bread, so far.

Mostly I'm giggling my ass off, trying to figure out just how far into the absurd we can push the muffaleta conversation.

And when Dana is going to come kill us all.

It would be a poor muffeletta but would have greater claim to that name than having everything but the olives on the proper bread.

And you think my rebuttal was lame?

Weak.

Hec, I've not only eaten tapenade without the capers - which by the way can kill me - I've made tapenade without capers.

And it was, though I say so myself, tapenade. Damned good tapenade, too.

And if some guy named Anatole in Villefranche-sur-Mer wants to dis my caperless yet nonfatal tapenade because the essence of tapenade is surely the capers?

He can baiser mon cul.

Damn it. I'm still arguing about fucking sandwich zen.

And when Dana is going to come kill us all.

I'm perfectly content. I know what I'm eating. Or not eating, unfortunately, since I am muffaletta-less.

And you think my rebuttal was lame?

Try this then salami swami, find an online muffaletta recipe that doesn't include olives.

Dude. Olive salad comes in a jar. You can put it on almost anything. The presence of olive salad will not turn, say, a hot dog, into a muffaletta.

However, muffaletta bread is specifically muffaletta bread. It doesn't have any other functions. Once you've taken muffaletta bread, and put some standard sandwich fillings on it, it becomes a muffaletta sandwich. (If you put, say, peanut butter and jelly on it, then it's just muffaletta bread with peanut butter and jelly. The fillings need to come from the standard meats and cheeses and salads.)