Hil, bless you, that's precisely what I wanted to know. Since I'm staying with Jess in NY, and since we're not bound to get there at any specific time, I think I'll wait until she's back from Korea and follow her lead.

Of course, if I do have to stand the entire time, I'm hosed. The MS won't allow for that.

Of course, if I do have to stand the entire time, I'm hosed. The MS won't allow for that.

They have a first boarding call for families with little kids and anyone "who needs assistance." I've boarded then a few times when my arthritis was flaring up. (I hate doing it, because I always think I'll run into one of those "you don't look disabled, so you must be lying" people, but I've never had a problem. I also hate doing it because it makes me feel like I'm asking for special favors I don't need, but that's just my own issue.) The other option would be grabbing a seat in the dining car. Also, there are usually a bunch of people getting off in Baltimore, and then a bunch more in Philadelphia, so you can take one of their seats.

I hate doing it, because I always think I'll run into one of those "you don't look disabled, so you must be lying" people, but I've never had a problem.

This is Deb we're talking about, so if such a person does pipe up, there'll be an extra seat available after she kills him/her. Problem solved!

Heh. Actually, Matt, even simpler and fewer questions to the police to answer: I have my neurologist's note, which I have no hesitation in brandishing at anyone who screws with me about it.

(tangent)

That actually happened a couple of months back, and unluckily for the cop involved, it happened about two days after our homeless friend John was smacked around by Officer Wolf of San Jose Metro. I went to buy catfood, and pulled into the handicapped space in front of Petsmart, and a few spaces down there was a cop car hanging out. I nodded at him, went in, got my supplies, came out, loaded stuff, and was about to start my engine when there's a tapping on my window.

It's the cop. I rolled down my window, he said, excuse me ma'am, I see the blue placard hanging from your mirror - do you have the paperwork for that? Well, duh, dude, because California law requires it to be kept in the glove box at all times, and shown on demand. I said certainly, and showed it. He read it, keeping that blank faux-authoritative face thing going, and then said, very neutrally, thank you, may I see your driver's license?

At which point, I began to lose my temper, and said, No, you may not.

He blinked at me - they honestly seem to think they can do this on demand. They're wrong. He said, why not, and I said because you haven't given me a reason for any of this, it's beginning to smell like harassment and I don't take harassment by cops very well. Try telling me what the problem is and we'll see.

At which point he basically said well, I want to see that the person named on this paperwork entitling said person to handicapped "privileges" is actually you, because you don't look handicapped.

At which point, I went fucking berserk. The no-stopping-for-breath tirade included something like "you fucking arrogant insensitive power hungry fuckwad, who in sweet hell do you think you are, and who in hell do you think you're talking to, do you actually have the fucking crust to stand there and tell me I don't look crippled enough for you, I'm getting your sorry ass reamed out like a fistula and then I'm going to watch you get fired how DARE you you miserable insensitive piece of etc etc".

He waited for me to finish - his face was a different colour at that point, going from red to pale - and then did the only smart thing he could have done, under the circs, because legally? I was right and if I wanted to push it, he was meat and he knew it. He said, very simply, Ma'am, I'm very sorry, I was way out of line and I ought to know better, you're absolutely right, and I hope you'll believe that I've learned from this and it won't ever happen again.

Which, of course, took the wind out of my sails. But I did the only thing I could do, which was ream him a bit longer to drive the point home, and then go about my business. (end tangent)

Matt, received.

which was ream him a bit longer to drive the point home, and then go about my business.

I do get how frustrating that must be, but isn't it less frustrating than people scamming the handicapped spots?

ita, yup - I was fine with him asking to see the paperwork, and handed it to him immediately. Where he went completely over the line was in asking - as if he had a right, which he emphatically did NOT - to see additional paperwork.

Under California law, legally handicapped people are not necessarily those in wheelchairs. Before you get a placard, you need full medical verification of that fact - it aint easy, and most doctors would kick out a patient who tried to scam one. If Nic, say, had parked in that space without me in the car - something he never does, since he considers it stupid and very bad karma - and the cop had asked to see proof that he was entitled to use that placard? Nic would have got a humongous fine, and rightly so. He obviously isn't Deborah Grabien, and equally obviously for the cop, there would have been no Deborah Grabien in sight.

But once I showed him the paperwork, reached right into the glove box and handed it to him, the rest was stereotyping and power-tripping, and what's more, he knew it. If Teppy had had a temporary handicapped placard after her back surgery in California, no cop would have had the right to demand more proof of entitlement. We are not obliged to carry notes from our doctors, or our MRI images, just because they choose to think pain has to be visible. That DMV-issued paperwork is, in effect, the note from my doctor.

Sorry to go on at length about it, but the idea that someone can give me - or anyone, whether they're in a wheelchair or on crutches or just moving slowly - grief after being shown the proper paperwork makes me want to bite said cop's head off, and spit down his neck.

When I had a placard, relatives would ask to borrow my car with it in. How would the cop know that Natasha wasn't me without ID?

The cop probably wouldn't. But what would stop your cousin Natasha from faking a limp which would probably have satisfied the cop?

And to clarify, if Natasha was parking in a handicapped space without you around, she was being breaking the law. If she's just driving it, she isn't, not here.

But what would stop your cousing Natasha from faking a limp which would probably have satisfied the cop?

Absolutely nothing (sorry, Tash). But just because Tash is a cleverer faker than Natalie doesn't mean Natalie shouldn't be asked for iD.

When I was card-carrying, I wouldn't have minded showing extra papers to make it more likely there'd be a spot available when I needed one.

There's absolutely no reason that the reason for needing a spot is visible -- I think the MI definition of need was having difficulty walking more than X yards, and of course the point of the spot is to have it closer than X. Which'd minimise the display of symptoms, for those as can.