Heh. Actually, Matt, even simpler and fewer questions to the police to answer: I have my neurologist's note, which I have no hesitation in brandishing at anyone who screws with me about it.

(tangent)

That actually happened a couple of months back, and unluckily for the cop involved, it happened about two days after our homeless friend John was smacked around by Officer Wolf of San Jose Metro. I went to buy catfood, and pulled into the handicapped space in front of Petsmart, and a few spaces down there was a cop car hanging out. I nodded at him, went in, got my supplies, came out, loaded stuff, and was about to start my engine when there's a tapping on my window.

It's the cop. I rolled down my window, he said, excuse me ma'am, I see the blue placard hanging from your mirror - do you have the paperwork for that? Well, duh, dude, because California law requires it to be kept in the glove box at all times, and shown on demand. I said certainly, and showed it. He read it, keeping that blank faux-authoritative face thing going, and then said, very neutrally, thank you, may I see your driver's license?

At which point, I began to lose my temper, and said, No, you may not.

He blinked at me - they honestly seem to think they can do this on demand. They're wrong. He said, why not, and I said because you haven't given me a reason for any of this, it's beginning to smell like harassment and I don't take harassment by cops very well. Try telling me what the problem is and we'll see.

At which point he basically said well, I want to see that the person named on this paperwork entitling said person to handicapped "privileges" is actually you, because you don't look handicapped.

At which point, I went fucking berserk. The no-stopping-for-breath tirade included something like "you fucking arrogant insensitive power hungry fuckwad, who in sweet hell do you think you are, and who in hell do you think you're talking to, do you actually have the fucking crust to stand there and tell me I don't look crippled enough for you, I'm getting your sorry ass reamed out like a fistula and then I'm going to watch you get fired how DARE you you miserable insensitive piece of etc etc".

He waited for me to finish - his face was a different colour at that point, going from red to pale - and then did the only smart thing he could have done, under the circs, because legally? I was right and if I wanted to push it, he was meat and he knew it. He said, very simply, Ma'am, I'm very sorry, I was way out of line and I ought to know better, you're absolutely right, and I hope you'll believe that I've learned from this and it won't ever happen again.

Which, of course, took the wind out of my sails. But I did the only thing I could do, which was ream him a bit longer to drive the point home, and then go about my business. (end tangent)

Matt, received.

which was ream him a bit longer to drive the point home, and then go about my business.

I do get how frustrating that must be, but isn't it less frustrating than people scamming the handicapped spots?

ita, yup - I was fine with him asking to see the paperwork, and handed it to him immediately. Where he went completely over the line was in asking - as if he had a right, which he emphatically did NOT - to see additional paperwork.

Under California law, legally handicapped people are not necessarily those in wheelchairs. Before you get a placard, you need full medical verification of that fact - it aint easy, and most doctors would kick out a patient who tried to scam one. If Nic, say, had parked in that space without me in the car - something he never does, since he considers it stupid and very bad karma - and the cop had asked to see proof that he was entitled to use that placard? Nic would have got a humongous fine, and rightly so. He obviously isn't Deborah Grabien, and equally obviously for the cop, there would have been no Deborah Grabien in sight.

But once I showed him the paperwork, reached right into the glove box and handed it to him, the rest was stereotyping and power-tripping, and what's more, he knew it. If Teppy had had a temporary handicapped placard after her back surgery in California, no cop would have had the right to demand more proof of entitlement. We are not obliged to carry notes from our doctors, or our MRI images, just because they choose to think pain has to be visible. That DMV-issued paperwork is, in effect, the note from my doctor.

Sorry to go on at length about it, but the idea that someone can give me - or anyone, whether they're in a wheelchair or on crutches or just moving slowly - grief after being shown the proper paperwork makes me want to bite said cop's head off, and spit down his neck.

When I had a placard, relatives would ask to borrow my car with it in. How would the cop know that Natasha wasn't me without ID?

The cop probably wouldn't. But what would stop your cousin Natasha from faking a limp which would probably have satisfied the cop?

And to clarify, if Natasha was parking in a handicapped space without you around, she was being breaking the law. If she's just driving it, she isn't, not here.

But what would stop your cousing Natasha from faking a limp which would probably have satisfied the cop?

Absolutely nothing (sorry, Tash). But just because Tash is a cleverer faker than Natalie doesn't mean Natalie shouldn't be asked for iD.

When I was card-carrying, I wouldn't have minded showing extra papers to make it more likely there'd be a spot available when I needed one.

There's absolutely no reason that the reason for needing a spot is visible -- I think the MI definition of need was having difficulty walking more than X yards, and of course the point of the spot is to have it closer than X. Which'd minimise the display of symptoms, for those as can.

All good points. But I disliked his power-tripping; if I had chosen to limp (in fact, I was fighting not to and it was a particularly bad day), he wouldn't have asked for additional ID. What's more, he knew I knew it. The "You don't look crippled enough for me" was what earned him the tongue-whip, and he had the sense to understand why.

Not sure if your car had the removeable placard (that's what I have, because I change cars), or the on-the-plate sticker. But I don't lend my car to anyone when I'm not going to be in the car with them, not without removing the placard first.

I'm just speaking for me. But I'd rather assume that most people who live with pain pr disability, and therefore want those spaces used by other people with pain or disability, don't randomly loan their vehicles to people who are likely to abuse the privilege. So, when I get to Costco and see that all the handicapped spaces are full, I look to make sure each vehicle has the placard or tag. If they do, I sigh, and move along, or else wait for one to open up, depending on how well I'm doing that day.

I have heard so much crap about the abuse of those placards. No one abused mine, but if everyone followed laws, we wouldn't need cops at all.

I felt self-conscious all the time -- I was miserable, but didn't feel impaired enough. What if I was keeping the spot from someone in a wheelchair? Someone in more pain, or with less function? But it came down to either I parked there or just went home. If scamming the spots was as big an issue as I'd been led to believe (maybe it was just MI), then I'd have shown ID without complaining.

See, I've never heard that it was that big an issue in NorCal, at least; we have this odd headspace about stuff like this. I just figure that if the vehicle is marked as handicapped, someone to do with that vehicle earned that right. I go with assuming I'm not being scammed.

Also, truth to tell, I almost never have trouble finding an open handicapped space, even in a full lot. It's maybe one time out every fifty attempts, and usually in a small lot, where there are only two or three handicapped spaces total.

Also, I never felt and never do feel self-conscious about it. But I've been in a wheelchair full-time, long before ADA was passed, and then for nearly a year while it was being debated, and believe me, I ran over plenty of toes to make my point.

But the discomfort - that's on the good days, on bad days it's pure pain - that comes with MS is actually worse than what I remember from after my car accident. And this isn't going away; there's no fixing it. So I will use any small perks I can get, to make it easier. It helps to not give a shit what the world thinks about it, right up until the point where a badge/gun decides that maybe I should do cartwheels for him, and if I fall on my head trying, then I'm really entitled to my placard.

BTW, totally with you on the "what if someone more in need" thing. One a couple of occasions, coming up on the last space at the same time as a very elderly couple, I've backed off and waved them in.