An intro to a top-5-love-songs list, shamelessly stolen from the University of Chicago Student newspaper and reposted because it amuses me:
Some procedural notes before we open the floor: The abstract requirements for love song status are as follows: The song must be addressed to an unnamed subject, addressed only by the second-person singular pronoun or by honorifics like “baby,” “sweet cheeks,” “sugar,” or “lady.” The subject must not have agency. Further, the thematic content song must fall into one of the following broad categories, allowing for poetic inversions and whatnot:
1. I Done You Wrong, Please Forgive Me
2. You Done Me Wrong, Watch Me Forgive You
3. I Enjoy Freaking With You, Let Us Begin/Continue Freaking Together
4. Everything (Including Freaking) Is Going Great
Criteria specific to this list: No live versions, no ironic covers, no songs containing the word “fuck” and no Brill Building shit, by which I mean the song must in some way express sentiments native to the singer, or the singer must have socioeconomic fraternité with the songwriter, if they are not the same person. Anyway, the list, in 5-4-3-2-1 order.