I just want a Zoe action figure with a gun that shoots real rice sized bullets and a Wash action figure that can fly my cat.

weeps with laughter. envisions own cat and expression of profound surprise. laughs some more.

And a Kaylee one that will have sex under my computer and then make it work far better than I ever could.

Oh, and a Jayne action figure, complete with hats.

YES!!!!!

And a cute little Simon action figure, with medical accessories and optional crazyspaceincest accessory River figure. He'd have to have the sex with Kaylee under the computer. But probably he'd need some alcofrol first, bless him

And Book! With a bible and a gun and scary action hair!

Have you noticed how only the male characters got any nooky?

And previous to this episode the only character to have sex was female. So what?

I tend to think of the difference between a Companion and a whore is that of a soldier and a mercenary.

> Would you say that's true of the show as a whole?

No, that's not so for, say OOG. Kaylee was all about the no-strings nooky, and that was cool. Which is why it stood out so much in HOG.

Sometimes I feel like the wet blanket of the fandom. Then again, if I were bitching about the writing of, I don't know, Stripperella, it would like chiding a mathlete for doing sums. We all know M. E. pretty well, through their collective works, and we know they can do both better and less obnoxiously insulting to 1/2 of the human population.

but I felt there were still moments in the episode that made it feel Jossian to me. The dialog between Kaylee and Wash Allyson quoted above, for example. Jayne and his hilarious body languages (the rather adorable rapport he seemed to have developed with his lady of the night, the combing of her hair, etc.) Wash and Zoe's conversation about having a child. And there were genuinely nice moments between Mal and Nandi,

I agree about those. I thought that Jayne was well written in the ep. The Wash - Kaylee dialogue was funny. I would have liked Wash - Zoe conversation more if they hadn't tried to make him look stupid later on. Apart from the scene with Kaylee, Wash isn't portrayed very favorably in the episode.

I thought Melinda Clarke who played Nandi had way more sparks with Fillion.

Yup. I had no problem believing that Mal would wind up with her. Imagine her as Inara. It doesn't solve the problems with the concept of Companions, but at least she'd be a bit more believable.

No, I think your comments are all very fair and reasonable, Nutty, fwiw.

Do you think it would have been more believable for Mal not to have The Sex? Or for Kaylee to have The Sex?

I never did read the Buffista rewrite of Spiral, but I'm getting the feeling that we should rewrite the script for Heart of Gold and see whether we could make it better, given the basic outline.

eta I'm misremembering, I think; why do you think Wash was portrayed stupidly throughout the episode? I totally agree that the business with the ship was dumb as a box of rocks, but up until that point I don't remember him being dumb. Remind me?

I never did read the Buffista rewrite of Spiral, but I'm getting the feeling that we should rewrite the script for Heart of Gold and see whether we could make it better, given the basic outline.

Hah! I had the same thought earlier this morning. The problem is different, though. "Spiral" was a kind of connecting ep, with way too much exposition, so a lot of the rewrite was mainly to smooth over the dialogue, and cut down on the exposition. The plot wasn't really touched. Much more about editing than truly rewriting, if you get what I mean. With HoG, the problems are mostly with the plot. You can improve some of the characterization, but you'd really have to change the basic plot a lot to get it to work (IMO).

No, I think your comments are all very fair and reasonable, Nutty, fwiw.

Heh, you should've been there when she actually watched the ep. I got to hear her reaction first hand. There was animation, and foul language and stuff.

Can I rewrite a whole concept of the series? I want Companions to be a guild of Alliance cultural propagandists, where sex is only one of many functions they might perform. (And we should actually see someone hire Inara to play cribbage, or for gossip, or to instruct children in etiquette.) And hey, it's a nice source of conflict with Mal, since he needs the money and the prestige she confers, and she maybe isn't a True Believer in the propaganda she sells.

That all given, it lets one rewrite HOG as a study of what sex-working really is, and contrast personal freedom to choose against exploitation. (And give Inara something to really be angsty about: a presumed superiority over unlicensed sex-workers, whereas the unlicensed ones don't have to toe the party line.) Let the conflict involve the son of the planetary Head Honcho, who has run away to become a sex worker rather than (say) marry. Let wackiness and violence thereby ensue.

And Bob's your uncle.

(Actually, I have been thinking vaguely about what would happen if you gender-switched various different characters, especially those that have come to feel -- to me -- hackneyed as done by M. E. Need a crazy, victimized waifish character, with a tightly-wound, protective older sibling? Meet Jeff the genius mind-reader and his sister Kelly!

(Imagine how the traditional Dru/Crazy-Fred/River could be reimagined if she were a man -- or if Inara were. Whole different vibe, whole new way to reorient the themes and intellectual arguments.)

(see my previous editing re Wash?)

I think that rewriting it would be an interesting exercise, though. You could take the basic premise of Magnificent 7 style plot, with the brothel asking for help, and maybe include all/some of the same characters, with the idea that Mal's going to wind up shagging another bird and Inara's going to be gutted. And include the Zoe/Wash talk about the baby, maybe. And just try to do it better -- play with the trope, if possible, do interesting stuff with structure, if possible, have more of the sparkling dialogue. (Alternatively if there were other points that seemed key, include those instead.)

I think it would be an interesting exercise.

(x postage)

Nutty, I'd love to see that -- especially the cribbage. That would be grand.

And now I really, really want to see an AU with genders switched. Hell yeah.

That all given, it lets one rewrite HOG as a study of what sex-working really is, and contrast personal freedom to choose against exploitation. (And give Inara something to really be angsty about: a presumed superiority over unlicensed sex-workers, whereas the unlicensed ones don't have to toe the party line.) Let the conflict involve the son of the planetary Head Honcho, who has run away to become a sex worker rather than (say) marry. Let wackiness and violence thereby ensue.

Replace Burgess with Patience (Bonnie Bartlett's character in "Serenity"). Her son is working at the HoG. Petaline is pregnant with Patience's grandchild.