I'd guess the writer of the fanfic is a teenage girl whose knowledge of male genitalia comes from nicking her mother's Playgirls and reading her friends' badfic.
Here is your cup of coffee. Brewed from the finest Colombian lighter fluid.
Xander ,'Chosen'
Boxed Set, Vol. 1: Smallville, Due South, Farscape
A topic for the discussion of Farscape, Smallville, and Due South. Beware possible invasions of Stargate, Highlander, or pretty much anything else that captures our fancy. Expect Adult Content and discussion of the Big Gay Sex.
Madrigal Costello - Oct 20, 2003 1:23:23 pm PDT #1291 of 10000
It's a remora, dimwit.
Kate P. - Oct 20, 2003 1:24:36 pm PDT #1292 of 10000
That's the pain / That cuts a straight line down through the heart / We call it love
The line about "his new porcelain lover, the toilet" gave me the best laugh I've had all day.
Matt the Bruins fan - Oct 20, 2003 1:25:21 pm PDT #1293 of 10000
"I remember when they eventually introduced that drug kingpin who murdered people and smuggled drugs inside snakes and I was like 'Finally. A normal person.'” —RahvinDragand
From the sound of this particular badfic, the writter must come from an alien species that's had no firsthand experience with sexual activity of any sort.
Sean K - Oct 20, 2003 1:25:32 pm PDT #1294 of 10000
You can't leave me to my own devices; my devices are Nap and Eat. -Zenkitty
I would like to add that the writer of the badfic could well be a teenager. If a grown up Ray is still using the bathroom as his primary pleasuring center? Repressed much?
Word to that, Daniel. While I have spent occasional stretches living on someone's couch, I've pretty much had my own private room in which to get all cozy and comfortable with myself, more or less since adulthood.
DavidS - Oct 20, 2003 1:31:30 pm PDT #1295 of 10000
"Look, son, if it's good enough for Shirley Bassey, it's good enough for you."
I've pretty much had my own private room in which to get all cozy and comfortable with myself, more or less since adulthood.
Heh. This kind of reminds me of the sort of line Bob Hope used to get in the movies, "I'll have you know I've been dressing myself since I was 32!"
Matt the Bruins fan - Oct 20, 2003 1:31:57 pm PDT #1296 of 10000
"I remember when they eventually introduced that drug kingpin who murdered people and smuggled drugs inside snakes and I was like 'Finally. A normal person.'” —RahvinDragand
Then again, if, as the story seems to be saying, Ray's libido has run amok to the point that he's no longer able to use self-control regarding expression of same... perhaps retiring to a room with a tile floor, ceramic furnishings, and a readily available shower is wise after all.
This discussion takes me back to the days when I had two roommates and one hour each week (11pm to midnight Fridays) when neither would be home. Phone calls and requests to give friends rides home from work were not well received in that hour.
Madrigal Costello - Oct 20, 2003 1:34:41 pm PDT #1297 of 10000
It's a remora, dimwit.
That would be logical, especially considering the distances men are capable of in those fics.
Sean K - Oct 20, 2003 1:40:04 pm PDT #1298 of 10000
You can't leave me to my own devices; my devices are Nap and Eat. -Zenkitty
"I'll have you know I've been dressing myself since I was 32!"
::snerk:: Hec. Yeah, I feel like I should be using something like "Hey, baby, I finally have my own room," as a pickup line.
perhaps retiring to a room with a tile floor, ceramic furnishings, and a readily available shower is wise after all.
Hmm... good point, Matt. I mean, the way it's described, it sounds as if Ray is literally shaking back and forth with the violent motion of his whacking.
That's just asking for the stuff to go flying in every conceivable direction.
askye - Oct 20, 2003 1:44:32 pm PDT #1299 of 10000
Thrive to spite them
The writer lets us see into Ray's mind while he and Fraser are having dinner.
All Ray can thinnk about is how hot Fraser is and how much Fraser drives him crazy and how he wants Fraser and needs Fraser. Only less coherent than that. I half expected Ray to lunge across the table, rip Fraser's clothes off, and have his way with him right there.
DCJensen - Oct 20, 2003 1:51:30 pm PDT #1300 of 10000
All is well that ends in pizza.
That's just asking for the stuff to go flying in every conceivable direction.
All I can say is there is good reason an intergalactic traveler always knows where his towel is.
And hopefully washes it frequently.