That is a good thread. It starts out with a bunch of no-caps-users who don't get it, but don't give up on it -- the thoughtful types end up dominating the thread. There's a lot of cross-pollination with music and comics that brings new perspectives to the thread. Examples:
(the description of the "silent" Buffy episode reminds me very much of Marvel's "'Nuff Said!" event month of a couple of years ago where every comic they produced was completely dialogue-free, for example).
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in some ways Buffy is sort of an anglicized anime -- the bizzare fantastic/trivial outsize character soap-opera meets space-opera thing's been happening in anime for years, and sometimes in mildly similar ways.
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I will attempt the over-anticipated and likely k-disappointing Epic Defense tonight, though in the meantime I would start with stop focusing on "Once More with Feeling"! "Once More with Feeling" is like the "Paint a Vulgar Picture" of Buffy: i.e. possibly one of the greatest things it's ever done, but "great" in part because of certain decisions it makes about situating itself as a key, functional point in the context of a much larger story.
These are all things I don't know much about. I was much enlightened by googling "Paint a Vulgar Picture." They also sent me to Google to define Gormenghast, nurse novels, and Habermas. Of course there were some references I could easily get:
while Buffy may be The Beatles of pop tv, and 'Once More with Feeling' may be its 'Sgt Pepper' - the consequence of this is that 'Charmed' is the Monkees.
To people who don't want to read the whole thing I would recommend the discussion about the influence of Chris Claremont on Buffy (search on "totally fakey"; maybe this link should be crossposted to the "Jossverse in other media" thread) and the essay-post "Why I Love Buffy" by Nabisco Sunshine.