I think a lot of examples have been provided in this discussion where words and actions have driven people away - new and old. The point that could be taken away from this, or the constructive criticism? Let's all try to be a little more considerate before hitting the Post Message button. Maybe not everyone has seen this as a problem, or even considered this, but it's happening. If this is really a "community", opinions would be respected and comments would be clarified before people were taken to task.

When we built this board I was hoping that it would stay insular, but people wanted to open it up and welcome new posters. This has proved to be a great asset to the board and I'm 100% behind it now. I was wrong. But if we're not going to give people a chance to fit it, what was the point?

My tone? Resigned and tired.

I Got drawn into a debate on the minutiae even after stating upfront that I thought such misdirection was part of the problem.

Discussing minutiae around here may be a distraction, but it's also been an element of the board from the TT days (where I lurked until the migration and followed to World X and then here). Calling it misdirection implies a conscious intent. Implying a conscious intent, given the topic at hand, implies malicious intent, as do comments about selfish behavior at the expense of the good of the board. Do you really have to ask why general observations implying malicious intent would put people on the defensive?

Also, ascribing motive is not what I would call "objective" observation. YOOMV.

Conveniently allowing you to not address my comments. Very nice. >And by the way, the tone on "very nice" was acidic.

In response, let me simply suggest that the fullness of your comments and tone, both in this post and throughout the discussion, provide more enlightened commentary than I could offer up in 500 posts on whether or not a small minority of people get unreasonably snarky and unduly influence the direction of the board by sheer volume of posting and by doing so, discourage and alienate more reserved and moderate posters, and generally diminish the feeling community here for a number of posters - both newbies and long-termers.

Please respect my choice to move on.

Now, that's more like it.

Seriously -- please note that I intend my tone in this post to be serious and genuine -- I wanted to know, explicitly, if *I* was one of the posters you describe who make this community harsh and unwelcoming, and you seem to indicate that I am.

unduly influence the direction of the board by sheer volume of posting

I didn't realize that how often I, or anyone, posted influences the direction of the board. We used to run totals of who posted the most in a given month -- perhaps we should do so again.

and by doing so, discourage and alienate more reserved and moderate posters

By posting too much, I discourage others from posting? Again, I didn't realize that.

generally diminish the feeling community here for a number of posters - both newbies and long-termers.

And, again, since you did reply directly to me, I didn't realize that I personally, Steph Lang, diminshed the feeling of community here.

No one has brought it up with me, either in-thread or backchannel. I wish now that someone would have, because this community is very important to me -- more than you can imagine -- and I in no way want to damage it.

You might, however, be ascribing much more influence to me than I deserve.

I think this place is like any group environment--say, college. In any group there will be those who respond to the lost freshman by rolling their eyes and pointing at the Registry office. There will be those who say hello and walk them over there and maybe ask them where they're from. There will be those who say "Didn't they give you a map?" and look at them as if they're morons. I would prefer that the first repsonse to anyone who is lost would be to be welcoming rather than cold or punitive, but I can't legislate others' behavior, nor would I want to. The only behavior I can be responsible for is my own.

Speaking as a reserved and moderate poster -- Rafmun, please stop putting words in my mouth.

I just want to someone to tell me when snarking became a bad thing around these parts. Exact time, date, and post number, please.

The fabulous thing about buffistas is that we call each other on bullshit, make relentless fun of that which deserves it, and give far more to charity collectively than any of us could together, knit for each others babies, bring Nilly to the states, support each other, and then call each other on our bullshit yet again.

A community where everyone is falling over themselves trying not to offend -- not just each other, not just some lurker who will suddenly appear to tell us we're all big meany-heads, but some theoretical granny in Des Moines who might never post because we're so scary -- is not a community I want to be any part of. In fact, it's not a community at all; it's a bunch of strangers who don't know each other well enough to snark, and probably never will (because none of them are saying anything worth getting to know).

But then I'm not reserved, not moderate, and not even possessed of an inside voice.

No one has brought it up with me, either in-thread or backchannel. I wish now that someone would have, because this community is very important to me -- more than you can imagine -- and I in no way want to damage it.

Yes. This. If I am doing something that is causing strife, it is sure to be unintentional. I would much, much rather be called on my behavior than to let things fester and build.

One of the creepy things about reading through all of these posts was wondering if I was one of the people being referenced in one way or another. I tends towards paranoia on a good day.

One of the creepy things about reading through all of these posts was wondering if I was one of the people being referenced in one way or another.

I was just fairly certain of it. But, that's because I know I'm stubborn and opinionated about this place. And because at some point, my name came up. But mostly the stubborn and opinionated part.

I didn't realize that how often I, or anyone, posted influences the direction of the board. We used to run totals of who posted the most in a given month -- perhaps we should do so again.

Steph, please respect my decision to move on.