I'm not advocating for my use of the word to spread across the internet.

Even before the Zoe thing got heated, I've been anxious about people's effects, not their intentions. I will never know anyone else's intentions, and having them be invisible makes things even fuzzier. But I DO know how they affect me, and I can pretty well judge how they affect us.

That's what I want to mitigate.

Yeah, I get at your meaning, I think, and I agree with you. Just confused about the word usage.

msbelle,

I said, "Saw boards degenerate due to the "kumbayah, i was bullied when i was wee so i need to accept everyone and let's hold hands and sing joy to the world!" contingency."

Fay responded, "As one of the kumbayah crowd,"

And then went on to describe something completely different than holding hands and accepting everyone.

And so I clarifi-fucking-fied by saying, "Fay, there's benefit of the doubt, and then there's closing your eyes, blocking your ears, and coddling the deranged kid who is running around biting the other kids, and telling the bitten to suck it up, because Little Johnny has ADD and his dad drinks.

There's leeway, and then there's the point where maybe lil Johnny needs to be moved to the special school, because this one doesn't have the resources to handle Johnny's issues. "

And then Fay flipped the fuck out.

Allyson, cut it out with the cursing, please. No need to go there.

It's harder for me, anyway, to evaluate your argument when you're using swear words. It just makes me angry.

It just makes me angry.

It just occured to me, Nutty, that I swear my fucking head off instead of saying, "Fay, that post is making me so insane with violence and anger, I need to go away, for a very long time, or I'm going to say horrible things to you which I mean right now, but will feel terrible for saying in a week, because I won't mean them, then.

Nutty, sometimes your posts make me angry. I don't tell you. I'm unsure why. Except, I like cursing, and see nothing wrong with it.

Allyson, if your intent was clarification, clearly it failed with me.

If everyone else understood you to mean "Heck, Fay, what you just described isn't at all the kumbaya thing I was talking about", then I am evidently even more obtuse than I thought. It sounded nothing remotely like that to me.

I apologise for the misunderstanding.

And now I'm going to go do something else for a while, and try to calm down.

X post.

Don't feel you have to go away - I'm going to take a breather. But if you're feeling insanely angry and want to vent, go ahead. That's pretty much where you (inadvertently) pushed me to just now, which is why I posted that post, so it's fair enough.

And now I'm going to go do something else for a while, and try to calm down.

As am I.

Except, I like cursing, and see nothing wrong with it.

Um, but will you humor me please, Allyson? I find that cursing can cause a hostile environment, and I find that the posts you put up that have curses in them come off as hostile and rude, and hostility and rudeness have no place on this board.

I'm asking you to be civil, that's all.

Well it offends me Allyson, because I see you as taking a hostile tone.

You say

And then Fay flipped the fuck out.

and I say, Fay did nothing different than what you did.

Her post was obviously fueled by frustration. The difference (and I get that this is a bother some people, doesn't bother others thing) is that your posts seem (to me) aggresive and mean.