Jessica, thank you for posting. I'm sorry, too, that we didn't have your back when it happened.
Giles: Stop that, you two. Riley: He started it... Xander: He called me a bad name! I think
it was bad; it might have been Latin.
'Selfless'
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amyth - Oct 15, 2016 5:46:14 pm PDT #9830 of 10289
And none of us deserving the cruelty or the grace -- Leonard Cohen
Kate P. - Oct 15, 2016 5:52:17 pm PDT #9831 of 10289
That's the pain / That cuts a straight line down through the heart / We call it love
I'm sorry, too, that we didn't have your back when it happened.
Yes, I am too.
erikaj - Oct 15, 2016 5:56:42 pm PDT #9832 of 10289
Always Anti-fascist!
i thought he was joking, and once I decide that I'm not someone's fan, it can get a little over-zealous...didn't want to be That Girl.
Sean K - Oct 15, 2016 6:01:41 pm PDT #9833 of 10289
You can't leave me to my own devices; my devices are Nap and Eat. -Zenkitty
I'm sorry, too, that we didn't have your back when it happened.
Me too.
Zenkitty - Oct 15, 2016 6:02:32 pm PDT #9834 of 10289
Every now and then, I think I might actually be a little odd.
Maybe even wondering if I have been recalling a younger more reticent PC, and just projected that.
Yeah, me too. I met him once, more than 10 years ago, and we didn't interact much. While I've never had a problem with him, I've also never spent much time with him. If other people are uncomfortable and leaving our board because of him, I believe them and I think he should go. That one post about Jessica really is enough, all by itself.
brenda m - Oct 15, 2016 6:06:48 pm PDT #9835 of 10289
If you're going through hell/keep on going/don't slow down/keep your fear from showing/you might be gone/'fore the devil even knows you're there
I'm with Zen. And I'm really sorry we failed you.
JZ - Oct 15, 2016 6:18:29 pm PDT #9836 of 10289
See? I gave everybody here an opportunity to tell me what a bad person I am and nobody did, because I fuckin' rule.
I don't want to force people to tell their stories if they don't feel comfortable doing so, but OTOH -- and I feel uncomfortable even saying this much -- it feels weird to be considering banning someone without anything more recent than the super-shitty episode with Jess. I don't want to turn it into a pile-on, or make people feel pressured to share, but, well, the very few times people have gotten banned before it's been after something clear and obvious and unambiguous.
I put a whole lot of trust in the bad feelings of so many people whom I value deeply, and whose absence from here I have mourned, and I want you feeling safe to come back; I just wish this weren't so murky.
And now I more than halfway regret even saying this. There are no good options.
Barb - Oct 15, 2016 6:19:47 pm PDT #9837 of 10289
“Not dead yet!”
I'm reading this thread and was weighing whether or not to say anything outside of heartfelt expressions of support, but at the same time, I'm likely one of the few people who've had any sort of prolonged day-to-day interaction with him (from the two-week Taos workshop last year). And while he never *did* anything specifically to me (about which I have my own theories which I'm happy to share privately) other than be a bit of an ass professionally, what I can say with certainty is that nothing I'm hearing is really coming as any sort of surprise.
To see them collectively expressed, both here and elsewhere, is...overwhelming.
Kate P. - Oct 15, 2016 6:34:10 pm PDT #9838 of 10289
That's the pain / That cuts a straight line down through the heart / We call it love
I get that too, JZ, and I feel somewhat similarly. Though I don't find it hard to believe that he's made people uncomfortable, or even harassed them (as Jessica's account illustrates), I also don't feel great about banning someone based mostly on second-hand reports of backchannel interactions. But of course, as erika pointed out, that's where this kind of thing thrives, and I don't want anyone to feel obligated to provide a write-up of something shitty that happened to them, when they might have their own very good reasons for wanting to keep quiet or forget about it.
In conclusion: ugh.
Kate P. - Oct 15, 2016 6:38:36 pm PDT #9839 of 10289
That's the pain / That cuts a straight line down through the heart / We call it love
And now I more than halfway regret even saying this. There are no good options.
...and I feel the same way too now. Because really, I do think it should be the default to believe people who report harassment. And knowing that people have left the board because of his actions is a huge problem that deserves to be addressed.