...burning baby fish swimming all round your head.

Drusilla ,'Conversations with Dead People'


Voting Discussion: We're Screwing In Light Bulbs AIFG!  

We open it up, we talks the talk, we votes, we shuts it down. This thread is to free up Bureaucracy for daily details as we hammer out the Big Issues towards a vote. Open only when a proposal has been made and seconded according to Buffista policy (Which we voted on!). If this thread is closed, hie thee to Bureaucracy instead!


Glamcookie - Dec 08, 2020 11:58:18 am PST #10241 of 10289
I know my own heart and understand my fellow man. But I am made unlike anyone I have ever met. I dare to say I am like no one in the whole world. - Anne Lister

I am glad you didn't handle it backchannel, sj. I guarantee you that at least one person learned something new from the discussion, which is so so necessary. Thank you for posting!


Jessica - Dec 08, 2020 12:01:16 pm PST #10242 of 10289
If I want to become a cloud of bats, does each bat need a separate vaccination?

I do want to explicitly say that I am assuming this is not meant to remove such discussions from other threads where they might naturally arise. Although obviously a discussion *can* move I don't think we want to shut down a conversation somewhere else. Does that make sense?

I think having a dedicated space means that conversations *can* move when they threaten to overwhelm their thread of origin, not that their discussion topic is forbidden outside the dedicated thread.


JenP - Dec 08, 2020 12:24:53 pm PST #10243 of 10289

I think having a dedicated space means that conversations *can* move when they threaten to overwhelm their thread of origin, not that their discussion topic is forbidden outside the dedicated thread.

That's what I figured, too.

I am glad you didn't handle it backchannel, sj. I guarantee you that at least one person learned something new from the discussion, which is so so necessary. Thank you for posting!

Agreed. In fact, I did learn something, and I appreciate that knowledge, so thanks for speaking up.

And, I had thoughts that I wrestled with sharing during the discussion in GRR, and I didn't for various reasons [OK, I just deleted a long and convoluted train of thought; it wasn't worth it], but I think a thread like this and discussion like that would be/are valuable all around.


-t - Dec 08, 2020 12:52:55 pm PST #10244 of 10289
I am a woman of various inclinations and only some of the time are they to burn everything down in frustration

I am also very glad you spoke up in thread, sj. I'm sorry that it got ugly after you did


Cashmere - Dec 08, 2020 1:16:22 pm PST #10245 of 10289
Now tagless for your comfort.

I like the idea of being able to discuss this subject in a thread where people are engaging of their own accord and are there for a reason. It's not about calling people out--I am very much on board for my own education.

As a society, we have a long way to go to reach equity and why not set aside a space for those kinds of thoughtful, respectful discussions?


DavidS - Dec 08, 2020 1:21:02 pm PST #10246 of 10289
"Look, son, if it's good enough for Shirley Bassey, it's good enough for you."

My concern on the other hand is that such a thread would have the opposite effect of its intention.

That instead of being a place of reconciliation it would drive people away who felt unfairly targeted, or that this simply isn't what they signed up for in this community.

It is a lot of difficult emotional work to address your own privilege, and while you can require that in a workplace environment, I don't know if that's the remit of this community.

Polter-cow drove people away silently because they didn't want to deal with the emotional labor of parsing his microaggressions or having a confrontation, or dragging it through the community. So people just left.

If this thread is put up then is there an obligation for the person being called out to go there and do what? Defend themselves? Do the walk of shame? The way Glam is positing this thread it sounds like defending your word choice would be automatically dismissed as "doubling down."

I'm not sure that a thread like that would actually foster conversation, but rather be seen as punitive.

There's a reason why (after much discussion) there was a (bullshit?) consensus that handling conflicts in-thread was preferable to formal censure (except in extreme or obvious cases).


Glamcookie - Dec 08, 2020 1:25:05 pm PST #10247 of 10289
I know my own heart and understand my fellow man. But I am made unlike anyone I have ever met. I dare to say I am like no one in the whole world. - Anne Lister

The way Glam is positing this thread it sounds like defending your word choice would be automatically dismissed as "doubling down."

If the word chosen was offensive to a minority group? You betcha that's doubling down. I think not having a thread like this will lead to us losing minority members. There is also no comparison between an education thread and the PC situation. I don't want to be in a community that isn't a safe space for minorities. And while typically that isn't this community, it does arise and was not appropriately handled when it did recently. Again, the intent is to raise awareness - not to shame. It's time for all of us to get uncomfortable. It's actually past time.


Glamcookie - Dec 08, 2020 1:30:31 pm PST #10248 of 10289
I know my own heart and understand my fellow man. But I am made unlike anyone I have ever met. I dare to say I am like no one in the whole world. - Anne Lister

this simply isn't what they signed up for in this community.

Could you explain what you mean here? We should all speak up when we see -isms of any sort, regardless of where they occur, correct?


Glamcookie - Dec 08, 2020 1:32:38 pm PST #10249 of 10289
I know my own heart and understand my fellow man. But I am made unlike anyone I have ever met. I dare to say I am like no one in the whole world. - Anne Lister

I have to say, David, that your comment is pinging me in all kinds of not nice ways. Why should the feelings of the majority be prioritized over the lived experiences of minorities? One is discomfort while the other is safety. There is a difference.


DavidS - Dec 08, 2020 1:34:30 pm PST #10250 of 10289
"Look, son, if it's good enough for Shirley Bassey, it's good enough for you."

It's time for all of us to get uncomfortable. It's actually past time.

That doesn't allay my concern.

Instead of speaking from a position of moral authority, Glam, perhaps you could talk a bit about the value of this work for you personally. You've alluded to the fact that you've been called out and had to confront your own issues. (As have I, several times, and am willing to address within the context of this discussion if you like. I'm not trying to single you out.)

What were those issues, and what were your lightbulb moments or epiphanies that changed your perspective?