Just got off a call with the scheduler at the Pilates studio, Claire (she's also a part owner).

It was going to be a half hour call, but I gave the back story on Jacqueline and we wound up having a really nice hour long discussion. I'm getting the feeling that I'm not just getting a place to work out, but a community with some space for friendship as well.

Also, it's really going to help structure my week and my days, which has been an issue for me since Matilda graduated from HS.

Very good! Structure and community can both be hard to build up

That sounds really awesome, David. You are such a community bringer I think it will be nice to have a live community that you are not in charge of bringing the community- you can be a receiver a little bit.

I successfully groceried at Costco and Raley’s and also got gas on the way home and I think I might be able to not spend any more money until the end of the month. I’m a little light on breakfasty things, but I can probably get by eating less specific food a few mornings. Should have enough cat food, which is the actual necessity

You are such a community bringer I think it will be nice to have a live community that you are not in charge of bringing the community- you can be a receiver a little bit.

Awww, sweetly said.

Structure and community can both be hard to build up

Very true. I was a little spoiled when I moved to SF to be accepted into a circle of friends (which is where I met Marti the Medical Student).

Then later I spent a good 15-20 years without having any close friends physically nearby (though I was married with children, so I wasn't alone).

But it's something I preach all the time - proximity matters.

But it's something I preach all the time - proximity matters.

Yes. It is a challenge I am attempting to overcome. It is going to take more effort than I anticipated. Mostly that effort involves me leaving the confines of my condo! One of my condo book club members started a happy hour gathering the 3rd Wednesday of the month here in the sports lounge. My book club meets the 2nd Wednesday. She is likewise determined to have more social interaction in our buildings.

I didn’t understand or prioritize this nearly enough. It’s something I think about a lot.

For the first twenty years or so of our business, we had a retail storefront where our regular customers would hang out, and we established many long-term friendships and socialized a lot. The neighborhood where we had our house was also a very social environment, with lots of block parties and such. People sat outside, walked, and created relationships. The last decade or so we closed the office and only work remotely, and we moved to a new city in a condo environment. The human connections have dwindled considerably and it is a real challenge to change that.

There are a few ways I could improve that. East Side Dems (east Ft. Lauderdale political group) is very active with lots of meetings and activities, including weekly protests and such. A good way to meet like-minded people. As far as condo socializing goes, if I went to the beach/pool at the same time every day I would interact with the same people daily. Same thing with the gym here, I could find the courage to put up a note for a gym buddy. See also, going to the same gym classes at the area gyms on a regular basis. I'm no longer in shape to join any of the biking or walking clubs that frequent A1A in front of my place, but maybe at some point.

And here I sit on my computer. Sigh. At least we have the condo Happy Hour BYOB gathering tonight where I will see people. And I promise to go to the pool this afternoon sometime,

I didn’t understand or prioritize this nearly enough. It’s something I think about a lot.

That's one thing I'm glad I did recognize for myself early on; even when I moved away from DC, my goal was always to move back, because this is where my closest friends are. And my family is within a few hours' drive, too, so I'm lucky.

I do really think about how to maintain connection as I age -- my goal is to be like my 87 y.-o. aunt who plays bridge several times a week, still goes to her beach house for several months out the year where she's built a whole other community + host various and sundry of her friends and family, and has good ties with her kids, me, her other nieces and nephews, grandkids, etc... and lots of her friends kids, too -- she's a multi-generational icon! (I mean, I don't have a beach house or kids, but, you know... I took a stab at learning bridge a while back!)

Anyway -- she's 30 years older than I am, and I'm 30 years older than my niece, so I have a goal of maintaining my relationship with my niece just the way my aunt did with me. She's definitely one of the most important relationships in life, and her perspective has been invaluable to me over the years.

My life is too much structure, not enough community. This is not, especially, a friendly place(Or maybe these aren't my people. Which feels greedy to say because my family is here and neighbors do help me out, but we're in different places--it's not going to get beyond chit-chat.) I think people come here to escape what came before, not to build things.(and, when I was young, it was cheap to live. Now, not so much.)