People! Learn from others' mistakes! You won't live long enough to make them all yourself.
Indeed.
Sad update on my brother. Jim is the baby of the family with 3 older sisters who have bossed him around all his life. In recent decades he stopped listening to us! He has always taken the worst care of his body. Smoked heavily for over 50 years. Eats/drinks whatever the hell he pleases despite diabetes, blood pressure issues, and more. Anyway, a couple weeks ago (at least) he stopped being able to eat solid food. He can down ensure, ice cream, milk shakes and such. He's lost about 30 pounds, which he could afford, but not so rapidly. At least the inability to eat convinced him to go to the doctor, but then his scans were delayed due to the hurricane. Finally got results the last couple days. Suspicious growths in lungs, esophagus, throat, liver, and more MRIs and a PET scan to come. This isn't really a surprise to his sisters or his ex-wife who lives with him. That doesn't make it any easier.
Conferencing with my sisters we are all on the same page. He is 69 years old and gets to make his own decisions with complete support from us. If he wants to go to India to meditate, take whacky chemicals, follow his doctor's suggestions, go to the hospital, stay home, whatever he chooses we will support. It sucks but all we can do is be there for him. I'll be headed home next weekend and will get over to see him as much as possible. One sister lives in the same town, and Mona will head down there when her knee heals sufficiently.
What ~ma? Probably that he keeps his mind together enough to make decisions without a psychic break that requires his ex-wife to have to take over. She is as batshitcrazy as he is, but she does the best she can to take care of him. Maybe that he stops hiding symptoms. With his MS he wouldn't let anyone know he fell unless we could see the bruises, and he didn't admit he couldn't eat until the weight loss was obvious. He's what they call a stubborn old coot and loved by his family. He isn't alone. His 30 something youngest son and his teenage granddaughter live with him as well as the ex.