I walked past a bar today that had a neon sign for Malört in the window. Why would you feel the need to advertise that? Why not just have a sign that says A Punch In The Throat instead?

We bonded over The Cutting Edge.

I think my comfort movies are The Thin Man, The Holiday and The Cutting Edgr I was very disappointed I couldn’t get anyone to go with me to a local screening.

So, this death thing is onerous. I mean, my mom has the least complicated estate ever (no debt, owned house, no stocks, just bank accounts) and there is only me. But I have to decide whether to sell the house or move there. The house is a fixer upper, but she catastrophized. I don’t really want it torn down, it is from 1815. But if someone cant get a mortgage it might have to go as is. The real estate market in Livonia is insane right now too. So it’s a lot of pressure

Also, right now I am not really feeling grief for my mother, but somehow for my grandma, who loved that house and garden. My mother’s neighbor said he could tell someone used to love the garden and I have such good memories of helping her with it as a little girl. So I am in fantasy land I think about moving home and fixing a house.

I came across my mother’s notebooks and it is clear that she has thought she was dying since 2007. She apparently was in a lot of pain. She was also increasingly paranoid and was writing down in detail every marketing call and every interaction with service people. Boy did she hate her one neighbor and I think lived to spite him, so I absolutely cannot sell to him. I think I might right now be happy for her that she is out of such pain.

And I myself have been super depressed, neglecting my health, and afraid of dying for a couple of years, so this is a real wake up call.

Timelies all!

Feeling melancholy right now.(See Beep Me for the reason)

Sheryl, that's rough. I hope one day it will be a turning point for good, not to rush you ahead to the next emotional stage or anything, but I can see why you couldn't let things go on as before, either.

Toe pick!

So I am in fantasy land I think about moving home and fixing a house.

I find grief to be very non-linear - not the stages, the whole experience, logistically, emotionally, socially... It’s very chaotic. So many notebooks! And if we’re going to talk stages, anxiety needs its very own one. And her not being in pain is one of the few blessings that come with this but it’s worth an awful lot.

Sheryl, you’re doing your best with the impossible. Hang in there.