Nothin'. I just wanted you to face me so she could get behind ya.

Mal ,'The Train Job'


Goodbye and Good Riddance 2020: Do Not Taunt Happy Fun Year  

Take stock, reflect, butch, moan, vent. We are all here for it.


flea - Jan 06, 2021 4:59:19 am PST #98 of 127
information libertarian

Well, 2020 was a year. Big picture, my family is fine and a lot better off than most. mr. flea has been working at home happily - more happily than being at work - and seems to be likely to continue doing so for some time, maybe forever. The kids' school (a demanding college-prep public high school) handled the pivot to distance learning fairly well in March and settled into virtual school really strongly in the fall. They already had all the technological infrastructure in place, and the district handed out notebooks over the summer, and the teachers are really doing a great job. Our school is so overcrowded that even when most of the district started to have in-person classes with cohorts, we stayed virtual, which means that the routine can persist and which works so much better for the curriculum.

Dillo (14) is pretty happy with this setup. He does school during school hours and manages to get most of his homework done during the scraps between classes, and then watches Youtube and plays video games with his friends online. He occasionally meets up with one friend in the neighborhood to play in person, or meets him at the park. He's getting the same grades he got when school was in person. He has mastered pie crust. Casper (17) hates everything about the way school is now, and is in constant danger of failing things, including things that wold pose big hurdles to her graduating. She's a senior, and she finally has a friend group she feels like she belongs in, and while they chat online constantly and play D&D in Discord and have gotten together in person a couple of times it's not the same. She doesn't know what she wants to do in the future and has not yet applied to college, and spends a big proportion of her time avoiding things and watching all the anime (Attack on Titan, anyone?). She is seeing a therapist and we're making an appointment with a psychiatrist to discuss medication. She's trying, but it's really hard for her.

I ragequit/mental health quit my job in July, and then three weeks later my entire department was furloughed and encouraged to apply for other openings in the system, which did not exactly ease my rage. A couple retired, a couple are now employed in the system at well below their skill and pay grade, and some have left, probably permanently. I'm still unpacking the mental issues seven years at this job caused me, notably the feeling that not being allowed to do very much for 7 years has led to an atrophying of my skills and overall brain, rendering me unsuited for future employment. I"m not sure what I want to do next. I have the luxury of taking my time to decide and doing family support right now, and am trying to appreciate that, but I wallow in despair between 3 and 4 pm daily.

I'm trying to focus on the solstice being over, snowdrops coming out and soon the rest of the slow creep towards spring, and appreciating the fact that we are very lucky.


billytea - Jan 06, 2021 5:05:34 am PST #99 of 127
You were a wrong baby who grew up wrong. The wrong kind of wrong. It's better you hear it from a friend.

With the next round of PPP coming I think we will have a runway to still be here when things start to come back, and the optimist in me is pretty convinced once people can gather again the floodgates are going to start to open on work.

Based on things here I really think that's very likely. You really deserve it; keeping your business and employees going over this year is an amazing, and hard, achievement.

For David and JZ (and Matilda), meara, flea, I'm so sorry for everything you've endured over 2020.


billytea - Jan 06, 2021 7:35:13 am PST #100 of 127
You were a wrong baby who grew up wrong. The wrong kind of wrong. It's better you hear it from a friend.

I've found it hard even to start this. The year, obviously, has been consumed by COVID. But it's been such a wildly different experience here in Melbourne. Every time I start on a summary, it feels almost disrespectful. I can only watch events in America (and Europe) with disbelief and horror, but it's all at a remove.

Australia’s in good shape. Numbers in Melbourne got out of control earlier on, peaking around 700 new cases a day; but our state premier introduced one of the hardest lockdowns in the world, including no travel more than 5 km from your home (save for essential work and such like) and an evening curfew. There was a cost in businesses and livelihoods, but it worked; we got rid of COVID more or less completely. Ryan spent his last semester back at school. We could attend his graduation ceremony. My brother could come over for Christmas. I could run D&D games for Ryan’s friends again. Melbourne ended the year with two straight months of zero community cases. (They’ve just tightened things up a bit again because of a Sydney outbreak that’s jumped borders, but so far it’s under control.)

At a personal level, Biyi and I have been working from home since March. Ryan spent a good chunk of the year in remote learning too. I’ve loved not having to go into the office; the commute takes three hours out of my day in total. I’m much happier using that time to get more work done, get more family time and get more sleep. (And I like the company here far more.) I just had a regular check-up, my health’s actually improved over the year. I think most of that is getting more sleep. (We’ve also been doing personal training sessions over Zoom.)

This year Biyi finished a three-year project. She’s been taking the lead on developing an online Chinese-English glossary of legal terms (which from my perspective was an extended exercise in herding bilingual cats). This year it went live, which was very cool. I’m very proud of her.

Ryan graduated from primary school. He’s been very happy there. It’s on basically the same grounds as the secondary school he’ll be attending from next year. We got him an Xbox in November (early Christmas pressie); I think he earned it with how he coped with the disruption this year.

Also on Ryan, in January I took him to his very first D&D convention, which he loved. A couple of months later I started running a D&D game for a group of his friends. (In his graduation video, he appears with two others reading Xanathar’s Guide to Everything.) We had to pause during lockdown, but were able to get a couple of sessions in before the year ended. Two of the other dads (and one uncle) have also joined the party. The culmination of a plan eleven years in the making!

Biyi’s parents are going well too. We completed the extension for them a couple of years ago, so we’ve had room for everyone even in lockdown. They’re both pushing 80, so we’re particularly concerned to keep them safe.

2020 tried to get some shots in on the way out – Biyi came down with shingles and apparently my dad’s in hospital with a broken foot – but we’ve been fortunate this year.


meara - Jan 06, 2021 8:47:00 am PST #101 of 127

I am definitely looking forward tot he Roaring 20s, whenever that begins.

Flea, I’m impressed you schedule your despair and keep it to an hour :) I’m rooting for poor Casper. What a way to have to wrap up school, ugh.


meara - Jan 06, 2021 8:49:26 am PST #102 of 127

Billytea I’m so glad to hear some decent news!! That all sounds great (though omg 3 hour commute?!? Hope you never have to go back)


Topic!Cindy - Jan 06, 2021 10:04:44 am PST #103 of 127
What is even happening?

billytea, thank you for your post. It is a reminder that it is possible for things to get better.

I feel unmoved or unready to bid 2020 goodbye and good riddance. It's not that I don't want to see the ass end of it. I guess it won't feel real to me (i.e. that 2020 is actually gone) until Agent Orange is out of the White House.


amych - Jan 07, 2021 4:42:47 pm PST #104 of 127
Now let us crush something soft and watch it fountain blood. That is a girlish thing to want to do, yes?

I guess it won't feel real to me (i.e. that 2020 is actually gone) until Agent Orange is out of the White House.

I realized at some point that my personal headcanon is that the year started at the beginning of March and ends (glob willing) on Jan 20 -- just as decades are marked by their cultural tags and not their exact starts and ends.

Anyway, I'm looking eagerly toward the end of this one, but not remotely surprised that it's gasping out these last few weeks like the motherfucker we always knew it to be.


Topic!Cindy - Jan 07, 2021 5:36:12 pm PST #105 of 127
What is even happening?

Amych, that's funny, because I kind of think that way anyhow, because my birthday is in early March. I've definitely been feeling that way because of COVID. Our real last outing was on my birthday dinner (I would have picked a pricier place).


meara - Jan 07, 2021 5:56:11 pm PST #106 of 127

Yes, I’ve been kind of feeling like March is going to be my sticking point. One year of this. A change in year doesn’t get me, but having to do April in quarantine AGAIN? Somehow that is too much for me. I fear breakdown at that point.


-t - Jan 07, 2021 5:58:32 pm PST #107 of 127
I am a woman of various inclinations and only some of the time are they to burn everything down in frustration

I feel like that about Passover