billytea, thank you for your post. It is a reminder that it is possible for things to get better.

I feel unmoved or unready to bid 2020 goodbye and good riddance. It's not that I don't want to see the ass end of it. I guess it won't feel real to me (i.e. that 2020 is actually gone) until Agent Orange is out of the White House.

I guess it won't feel real to me (i.e. that 2020 is actually gone) until Agent Orange is out of the White House.

I realized at some point that my personal headcanon is that the year started at the beginning of March and ends (glob willing) on Jan 20 -- just as decades are marked by their cultural tags and not their exact starts and ends.

Anyway, I'm looking eagerly toward the end of this one, but not remotely surprised that it's gasping out these last few weeks like the motherfucker we always knew it to be.

Amych, that's funny, because I kind of think that way anyhow, because my birthday is in early March. I've definitely been feeling that way because of COVID. Our real last outing was on my birthday dinner (I would have picked a pricier place).

Yes, I’ve been kind of feeling like March is going to be my sticking point. One year of this. A change in year doesn’t get me, but having to do April in quarantine AGAIN? Somehow that is too much for me. I fear breakdown at that point.

I feel like that about Passover

I feel like that about Passover

Same. 2020 Passover was the first family gathering I canceled due to Covid. (Well, technically my grandmother's funeral in March was first but that wasn't something we'd been, you know, PLANNING for months in advance.)

Events keep interrupting my sitting down and posting about 2020. How very 2020.

But I finally decided to just dive in and do it because who the hell knows what will happen next. And there are some things I can say here that I didn't say here: [link]

For me, 2020 was a mixed blessing. I feel very fortunate, but also completely exhausted and very angry.

My year was dominated by the work project from hell. The client was demanding, the project management horrible, and the schedule constantly shifting. The only upside was being paid by the hour. So, for the first time since I started this self-employed venture 8 years ago and initially depleted my emergency fund, I’ve been able to build it back up again. However all this work meant I dropped off the face of the earth for weeks at a time and just couldn’t keep up with social networks, including here.

Otherwise, having a lot of work meant that staying home wasn’t really a challenge in and of itself; however, given the added stress of the pandemic, I had a really hard time focusing on anything, which only compounded my work stress. And then there were various home invasions (fleas! mold!) as well as medical stuff (sonograms! biopsies!) that just seemed overwhelming to deal with while in lockdown (especially with no car and what amounts to no public transit). I'm thankful these issues seem to be behind me now. Though a mouse ran into my apartment just today so, again, who knows?

The one huge upside to this difficult year has been having the Math Greek here full time. For one, I am so glad he isn’t in L.A. because I would be worrying about him constantly. Given the size of my apartment, I wasn’t sure how being together 24-7 would play out, but it has been remarkably smooth, beyond the mostly self-imposed burden of “OMG, what are we going to eat tonight?” I’m not sure where we’ll go from here, but it looks like we won’t have many other options for at least the next few months in any case.

Which leaves me with where I ended up at the end of 2020, happy to have a bit of breathing room after an exhausting year, generally looking forward to 2021 (and hopefully reconnecting with people, reading and relaxing more, getting back to blogging, etc.), but really, really angry with all the fuckery around the election and the pandemic and those who have caused all this to be so much worse than it needed to be. And that was before this nightmare of a week.

My heart goes out to all those who have suffered losses of any kind this year and mad respect to those who’ve had to get through this with far more responsibilities than I have had.

I miss the Buffistas and hope to be a more than a random delurker in the coming year.

Aww, hi megan walker! Fingers crossed the mouse is a random occurrence and not the start of an invasion, yikes.

Hi megan walker! It's good to catch up with you a little bit - the good parts sound pretty darn good, sorry about the less good (those we all share and those specific to you)

ETA also dig your Journal of a Plague Year, megan. Every time I read your blog I tell myself I should make it a habit but I haven't been able to follow through...

Aww, hi megan walker! Fingers crossed the mouse is a random occurrence and not the start of an invasion, yikes.

The funny thing about the mouse is, a neighbor saw it run into my apartment and knocked on the door to tell me. As I went to the door, I saw it (and screamed) and soon got it to go back the way it came (through a gap in the corner of the door) as my neighbor then ran away. It was freaky to see exactly how a mouse flattens itself, let me tell you. We do get the occasional mouse in the basement so I guess this one found its way up one floor. Anyway, they've already come to put traps downstairs and will now finally close up the gap that has always been at the bottom of my door. My building management has always generally been good, but it is amazing what going down to only 80% occupancy in late summer has done for their responsiveness to this sort of thing.

ETA also dig your Journal of a Plague Year, megan. Every time I read your blog I tell myself I should make it a habit but I haven't been able to follow through...

Thanks, -t! Since I had like a half dozen posts last year, it would have been an easy year to keep up with it! Luckily the two major projects I have lined up for 2021 are both known quantities client-wise, so I am hopeful that I can keep up with blogging this year.