I don't have much going on... E is now a black belt in Tae Kwan Do!

There is a rehab facility for my cousin Jay- except it's almost 2 hours away from where he is now. He didn't have health insurance (it was too expensive through his employer). My uncle is trying to get health insurance for him now so if that can happen there will be more options in terms of rehab. They blocked his trach to see how he can breathe on his own, so if he can do that then that will be good and will bring more options as well.

In frustrating news the judge denied an emergency hearing for guardianship/custody of Jay's son saying there was no emergency. I mean, sure what's the emergency with an 11 year old kid whose Dad has been in the hospital for almost 2 months, half that time in a coma, and is looking at who knows how much time in rehab and we don't know how much he will recover. And whose mom is currently in jail waiting arraignment for violating her probation (for a DUI with property damage) by getting a DUI with property damage while driving on a suspended license.

Now Jay's ex wife has until tomorrow to respond to the guardianship case and I guess if she wants to fight it she can, although I'm not sure how that will work. Her arraignment got pushed back until the 16th (my birthday) and it might get changed again.

But my Dad will be up next week ! and then he will go see my brother and nephew right after. Mom is disappointed because she was going to go the 16th or 17th to see them but since Dad will be here it makes more sense for him to go up to VA instead of going back to Florida.

Black belt! Well done. Do you know how Jay's son is handling all the trauma and drama?

Apparently my brother and his ex-wife (who has lived with him for years) are bringing on the drama in their family. Many years ago they got custody of their granddaughter because their daughter was too flaky and irresponsible to take care of her. Then daughter took her back a few years ago, married, and moved to Miami. Child is now 12 and has been attending school there. Granted most of the info they get on the kid's life is from the kid and/or school, but apparently she has issues including suicide tendencies. Not surprising since Mom is bat shit crazy and her MIL is also nuts. Step-dad seems okay. Anyway, her grandparents are driving over to Miami today to pick her up on her last day of school to take her back with them. WITHOUT HER PARENTS KNOWING. Kid has arranged this with them. No clothes, no belongings. Disaster waiting to happen. They have the guardianship papers with them and expect no issues with school. 1. What % of 12 year olds think their parents suck and want to go live with doting grandparents? 2. They live in a seniors only development. 3. My brother has MS and is declining in abilities. 4. They don't even have a bedroom for her, and I don't know, maybe will put her on the enclosed porch? They certainly didn't discuss this with me. My sister just was informed of the plan yesterday because they usually go shopping together today. Sheesh! Yes, the world has gone mad.

Another me me me update, went to the brain doc yesterday. Good, and bad. The good is they were very pleased with 2 weeks of no issues at all, keto diet working, and registered me for an official medical marijuana card. Also, they agreed to half of the normal dose of seizure meds after listening to my arguments. The bad is that the brain issues are forever and nothing can fix it. I can go the rest of my life without a seizure, and considering I have only had the one 7-1/2 years ago probably will, but forever meds and diligent attention to contributing factors. Minimal alcohol, coffee, stress. I'll deal. Down to two mugs of coffee and will consider one. The occasional glass of wine is fine as I haven't had much lately anyway. Stress. Ha! She showed me her stress app on her phone and I showed her mine. I'll focus on that a bit more. I'll be fine.

I love how the solution to every medical problem is to reduce stress. Not that it's not valid, just...if I had a magic wand that could remove stress from my life, I'd use it to make the problem go away.

Laura, what stress app do you like? There is a stress measurement and display feature in my Samsung Health app, but I haven't found it to be of much use. It seems to always be either all the way up, or all the way down.

Laura-I think he's handling it fairly well. I mean, he is a good kid and he has done some things that aren't the best judgment. Like, he plays a bunch of video games and he went and bought various expansions and things because Jay's paypal was attached to it. And he knew what he was doing and somehow managed to buy $700 worth of various add ons and expansions and what not (I was getting this from Mom so her knowledge of this stuff isn't great). When he was confronted about it he admitted, knew he shouldn't have, and was upset and immediately offered to repay it/work it off and gave up the $170 he had saved towards repaying it.

But then when he is given chores or jobs to do to earn money to work off the rest he balks and doesn't want to do it. Which I'm going to chalk up to being an 11 year old with a shit load going on in his life.

He's also gone off to a friend's house without telling anyone multiple times. Or invited the friend to come over without asking if it was ok.

Jay has a inversion thing for his back. And Jay's son got on it, got turned upside down and of course got stuck. Mom was there but she couldn't get him flipped up right and he had been upside down long enough his head was hurting. Mom was able to turn the whole thing on its side and get him out of it that way.

But so far nothing like self harm or things like that. We will see what happens. He was doing some kind of martial arts and the place he was going waived the fees for him I don't know if they still are.

There were plans for him to go spend sometime with another cousin out in Texas but that can't happen until the guardianship issue is resolved. So I'm not sure what will happen once he's out of school and he is just with my aunt all the time. Well, Jay's fiancé is part of his life and he has his half sisters but it's not the same as having another adult in the house or having summer activities for him.

Laura sorry the answer is - reduce stress. That was what I was told to handle clenching my teeth. I told the dentist that if I could control my stress levels I would be doing that.

I will admit one reason I have the job I do and why I haven't pushed myself more to finish college or do something with more responsibility is stress control. My job can be stressful but there are things I can control and since so much of my life has been trying to get by while dealing with high anxiety I just don't want to do that anymore.

Laura, what stress app do you like?

I've downloaded an app I think Teppy recommended for meditation stuff, and that is nice enough. [link] I'm sure there are a bunch. Mostly I handle stress by having the television tuned to YouTube underwater reef videos, or ocean waves and that type of things rather than news as background media. I've also put a number of hypertension binaural type videos on from time to time. I adapted a number of changes years ago like driving the beach instead of the highway and being vigilant about my sleep.

Yeah, a magic wand would be nice, but stress is part of life. The work and kids stress stuff I try and adopt a somewhat serenity attitude of accepting things I can't change and changing those I can. Generally I think I am good at it, but my dentist takes one look at my teeth and reminds me that maybe not so much.

Random: Generally I never watch anything with commercials, but it happens when watching live sports. There is one that just shows a grilled cheese sandwich being cooked and a dude singing about it being time for grilled cheese. I just find its simplicity and effectiveness charming. I don't even have an urge to fast forward.

driving the beach instead of the highway

Hah! Yeah, when I wasn't allowed to drive myself to or from chemo earlier this year, I got some grief from my family for giving them directions that avoided the interstate.

Incipient road rage has been a problem for me the past five years (I had to remove "March of Cambreadth" from my driving playlist). It has gotten worse the past two, due to my treatments. My emotions are much more volatile now.

One benefit of working from home this past year has been no daily commute. Mornings weren't so bad (so long as I was on the road by 6:15), I would use I-35 then, but coming home took twice as long, because I stayed off the interstate.

and being vigilant about my sleep

Yeah, that works for me too. The temptation to take an afternoon nap has become very strong, but I have learned to resist and work through it -- the few times I have given in, I had bad insomnia that night, and was useless the next day.