Vibing hard for all the vaccines for everyone!
Laura, I'm loving seeing your family updates--IIRC, there had been some strain with your son and DIL and I'm so, so happy that things are loving and mended. Also grateful for any and all pictures of your cutiehead grandson!
ION, ugh. Long family-dirty-laundry rant ahead that I can't rant anywhere but a super-private non-Googleable space.
My dad's girlfriend W. hate-shared a stupid bit of puffery in the Nob Hill Gazette, a community magazine for SF's snootiest and cringiest. They ran around asking various locals including socialites, a jazz singer, a mindfulness consultant, a radio host, a celebrity hairstylist, and my cousin's ex-husband, "What are you doing to find joy now?" and his answer is making W. and me both want to throttle him.
Backstory: ex is a former Orthodox priest who was censorious and shitty to our entire family for being insufficiently Orthodox, who insisted that all his sib-in-laws address him as "Father," who was pompous and preening and relentless about demanding every inch of the privilege he felt his status as a clergyman entitled him to, and who was defrocked after my cousin, found out he'd been sleeping with multiple members of his congregation for years (anyone of any gender who'd have him, and NONE of them, being in the congregation, could possibly have been unaware that he was married at the time), including while she was pregnant with twins and later in treatment for breast cancer.
After the end of the marriage and his priesthood, they went into counseling to try to figure out how to co-parent, but she eventually quit because all he wanted to do was talk about how freeing it was to fully embrace his entire sexual identity without labels or restrictions instead of trivialities like why he'd promise to spend a weekend with the kids and then blow them off with zero notice or why he kept not paying any child support. He has next to no relationship with his kids and much of the time doesn't appear to remember they exist. But he's photogenic and winsome and has spun it all into a voyage of self-discovery and coming out and learning to love himself just as he is, and he's gotten himself appointed to various boards and committees all over the city and everyone who was never related to him thinks he's just delightful.
Years later, my cousin is *still* living at her parents' house because she'd quit a good job to marry him and be a full-time pastor's wife and lost more than a decade of work experience, survived on a few event planning gigs (the one thing pastor's-wifing gives you a shit-ton of experience at), put moving out on hold when the breast cancer came back, put it on hold again when her dad required around-the-clock care for the last few years before he died. Then she got a decent job in SF, and within six months her dad had died, the pandemic hit, her workplace shut down and she was diagnosed with a completely different cancer. So for the last year she's been immunocompromised and on deep lockdown with her widowed mother, sleeping in her childhood bedroom while he's gadding about City Hall and the society pages.
So, here's what he is doing to find joy now, and why I really want to just set him on fire:
"My love for the sea inspired me to buy a condo on an estuary with a dock in Marin County in the middle of the pandemic! I pinch myself because working from home when you feel like you are perpetually on vacation is a surreal experience. I feel grateful and blessed to have found and made this inspired space my home, which is bringing me greater joy than I ever imagined possible!"