I will say this about Buffy.
Since finding this place 'round about the airing of Wonderfalls, I have known what a good and healthy internet community looks like. I have been lucky enough to find and participate in several of them over the years.
I have noticed that no matter the ostensible reason for the community - a Broadway show, a video game podcast, whatever - there are always a healthy number of people who claim Buffy as a favorite, or their absolute favorite. Buffy inspires lots of good people.
It is awful that Joss was/is a terrible person, and if I could go back and block him from that power I would, in a heartbeat, save Charisma and the others from that toxicity; Buffy wasn't worth that horror.
But those of us who found something beautiful and wonderful and worthy of love and connection within the show are not to blame, and not wrong. Allyson, supporting the community that loved the show was, and is, a good thing. The man is not the show. And even the show is not the people. And the people are worth all of the love, and time, and energy, and devotion that you put into them.