David I hope the unraveling went well.

The seat (and one other one) were marked as “not usable” though they looked fine (maybe the seatbelt is broken or something?). Another woman was also displaced. We were both pissed. And of course, the dude who was in the middle seat of what was supposed to be my row is now sitting in the “broken” seat (of course) and the guy next to me is huge. I’ll survive but did write a very grumpy message to Alaska.

That does sound frustrating, smonster. Not just not being heard, but not having any sense that progress can be made.

On that subject...

Update re: JZ's pension: The form that I filled out in October came back to me because I needed to identify the financial institution holding the IRA. I was confused. I don't want to roll her pension over into my IRA. I just want them to start paying the pension. My financial advisor was also confused. EM stood over me and said, "Okay, call them again." So I did.

Turns out the form they had sent back to me is not directly related to her pension payout. Rather it is for a "death benefit." I felt like all the death benefits had been paid out. But apparently, there's an additional $7,500 they want to give me - presumably part of the package to cover funeral expenses or something. Anyway, I don't want that rolled over into anything either, I just opted for them to send me a check.

How is this relevant to JZ's pension payments? Procedurally they cannot pay out her pension until this "death benefit" is paid out. So, this whole process has been stuck in bureaucratic limbo for six months because of this one payout bottlenecking their process.

I'm sending back another form and will talk to them next week so I can get the forms related to the Pension payment (mostly procedural stuff like tax withholding and direct deposit info. Sheesh.)

Update on cyberbulling of Matilda at school: I talked to the school counselor and she couldn't give me info of the discipline while they were in process. I made my case that the person who made threats to beat up Matilda and another girl (whilst also running a group chat spreading malicious lies) should be suspended, have her phone taken away, her social media accounts blocked and this girl should not be allowed to go on the senior trip. The counselor said that she did not disagree with any of those steps, but they would have to see how the disciplinary process played out. This much I do know: the bully has had her class schedule changed so she's no longer in classes with Matilda or the other girl she bullied. So there's that.

How did Matilda focus her anger? By channeling her mother and writing a strongly worded letter to the PTA!

Update on the mother of Matilda's friend with cancer diagnosis: It looks like it's even worse than they had thought. Now they think it's Pancreatic Cancer. I don't think she's going to live long enough to see her daughter's graduation in June.

I’ll survive but did write a very grumpy message to Alaska.

Ha! You and Matilda are as one in spirit.

It's better than a slug of whiskey in your morning coffee.

Ooops.

Hah go Matilda! Also so glad to hear it’s going to be more money rather than fighting for the money you thought you’d get!!

Pancreatic cancer is a real bummer and sadly several of us have too much knowledge about. What a sad situation for the family.

How did Matilda focus her anger? By channeling her mother and writing a strongly worded letter to the PTA!

You go, Matilda!

Update on the mother of Matilda's friend with cancer diagnosis: It looks like it's even worse than they had thought. Now they think it's Pancreatic Cancer. I don't think she's going to live long enough to see her daughter's graduation in June.

Fuck. Been there, done that, reliving the trauma as we speak. All these kids losing their moms so young… it’s hard enough at my age. My heart just aches for them.

I ended up leaving work early because my brain is skittering like a sprayed roach and the world is on the other side of a thick sheet of glass, despite it being a lovely warm spring day with azaleas and all kinds of stuff blooming everywhere.

In possibly related news, my Prozac ran out two days ago. It’s getting filled today, but that means I will have to leave the house again to go get it. I took a Xanax earlier to no effect.

How disregulated am I right now? I started crying at Some Guys Have All the Luck while driving home. Rod Stewart. Made. Me. Cry.

So I’m going to follow my emergency shutdown procedures (shower and nap) and hope I can rally later this evening.

How did Matilda focus her anger? By channeling her mother and writing a strongly worded letter to the PTA!

This warms my heart so much. .

All these kids losing their moms so young… it’s hard enough now. My heart just aches for them.

Yes, it is so much heartache.

Also yes, I should be prepping animals and packing and stuff like that, not internetting. Oh well.

Timelies all!

It's been a cruddy week. Not enough sleep in general, and Tues night was another shitshow. Mr. S, in the short period of time between the nanny leaving and Gary getting home, locked himself in the bathroom and called 911. He got more and more disregulated once the police got here, becoming physically aggressive towards Gary and me. He ended up going to the ER in handcuffs, with Gary riding along in the ambulance. I stayed here waiting for Gary to call me to pick them up. I did not get good sleep. Gary called me at 8:30 Wed. morning to tell me they were getting an Uber. Sigh...

Just like David going running this morning, I just had a huge fight with myself over whether to use the rowing machine tonight. I’m still not sleeping and I just feel exhausted all the time. But I did get my minutes in.