I ended up leaving work early because my brain is skittering like a sprayed roach and the world is on the other side of a thick sheet of glass, despite it being a lovely warm spring day with azaleas and all kinds of stuff blooming everywhere.

In possibly related news, my Prozac ran out two days ago. It’s getting filled today, but that means I will have to leave the house again to go get it. I took a Xanax earlier to no effect.

How disregulated am I right now? I started crying at Some Guys Have All the Luck while driving home. Rod Stewart. Made. Me. Cry.

So I’m going to follow my emergency shutdown procedures (shower and nap) and hope I can rally later this evening.

How did Matilda focus her anger? By channeling her mother and writing a strongly worded letter to the PTA!

This warms my heart so much. .

All these kids losing their moms so young… it’s hard enough now. My heart just aches for them.

Yes, it is so much heartache.

Also yes, I should be prepping animals and packing and stuff like that, not internetting. Oh well.

Timelies all!

It's been a cruddy week. Not enough sleep in general, and Tues night was another shitshow. Mr. S, in the short period of time between the nanny leaving and Gary getting home, locked himself in the bathroom and called 911. He got more and more disregulated once the police got here, becoming physically aggressive towards Gary and me. He ended up going to the ER in handcuffs, with Gary riding along in the ambulance. I stayed here waiting for Gary to call me to pick them up. I did not get good sleep. Gary called me at 8:30 Wed. morning to tell me they were getting an Uber. Sigh...

Just like David going running this morning, I just had a huge fight with myself over whether to use the rowing machine tonight. I’m still not sleeping and I just feel exhausted all the time. But I did get my minutes in.

I’m still not sleeping and I just feel exhausted all the time. But I did get my minutes in.

Full credit!

I did not, in fact, go running because EM was coming earlier than planned. But I did manage to go walk 9,215 steps, and now I'll make one last foray out into the evening to get my 10k.

Ugh, Sheryl, I'm sorry. That is cruddy.

I am booked for SF and JZ. Coming in Thursday midday and out Sunday morning. Hotel yet to be figured.

We're coming in Thursday evening, flying out Sunday morning. I wound up just going with an Expedia package deal (the hotel we landed on is a seven-minute walk from the venue, and it has good reviews, so fingers crossed).

Sorry for the exhaustion and stressy situations.

WHY ARE PEOPLE TRYING WITH ME TODAY?!?!?

Today is not the day and I AM NOT THR ONE!

Relatedly, I am possibly more stressed out than I realized about going to care for my friend going through chemotherapy. I MIGHT be a skootch irritable masking the fear. Being self-aware does not make it better.

Hugs and hairpats as you are willing to tolerate, msbelle. Or I can glare at anyone irritating you.

Raises show up on today's paycheck! It's a whopping 2.5% for my Exceeds Expectations, my boss was kind of embarrassed to tell me. And now that I see the take home, it nets out to about $80 more a month. I was trying to think of an expense I have that that will cover. I think I would have to get pretty granular. But it's not zero, which it has been occasionally in the past, so that's something.

Exceeds expectations is great, even if 2.5% isn’t!

I was pretty pleased with that!

And the raise does pretty much cover my water bill, so that's something sort of tangible.