Oh my Buffistas, I have had a stressful day.
I lost my fucking wallet.
I have not lost my wallet since I was 11. I carried all my college IDs in it and never lost them.
I am super deliberate about changing my pants with an entire ritual of transference of wallet, keys, belt et al.
My wallet is always in my back pocket, and I carefully fold my pants and place them on a chair WHERE THEY ARE NOT TO BE TOUCHED.
But I put on my pants this morning and wallet was not there. The keys were, but not the wallet.
I looked on the floor, thinking it had fallen out. Because these were a new pair of cords that I bought on sale at Levi's (75% off in January!). I had noticed that the back pocket was more shallow than I was used to. It made me anxious about the wallet popping out.
I took everything off the chair. Everything off the floor in that immediate area. Black wallet should have been visible on the brown wood floor. Nothing.
I remembered that I had taken my wallet out recently to donate some money to a friend's GoFundMe campaign. Maybe at my computer? No. I looked all around. Nothing.
I checked my email the GoFundMe acknowledgment was from the previous night. So that wasn't it.
And I went over it and over it and over it in my mind, all day long trying to retrace my steps. Thinking of where I remembered buying something last.
It was extra stressful because JZ is gone for the weekend and while I had food in the house, I was taking care of Matilda all weekend. Money would come in handy. Plus, I've finally got all my automatic online pay shit sorted out and I didn't want to have to go back through Venmo and PayPal and Amazon and Hulu with a new card. It was going to be a huge pain.
All day stressing about it. And I puzzled and I puzzed. And I figured it out!
I was pretty certain that I had lost it the apartment, and not outside.
So here's the detail I recalled that made me change my search and find it. Not only did my new pants have a shallow pocket, but they were also tapered at the ankle more than I was used to. It was difficult to take off my pants over my big feet.
Can you guess where I found it with that clue?
My mom's been on a list for a while and Wednesday the pharmacy sent her an email (not a text or call, as she had been expecting) just before noon that they had vaccine available and to make an appointment for that afternoon. Of course, she didn't read the email until that evening because she's retired and not monitoring her email constantly. When she called Thursday morning to see if they were still doing vaccinations, not only were they not, but also they told her that they'd removed her name from the waitlist because they'd been taking appointments for her group the previous day and she hadn't responded. So she had to sign up AGAIN for a predicted vaccination at the end of February.
We're still taking all reasonable precautions and hopefully Mom will be fine until she gets vaccinated. But if she's not, let's just say I've seen a LOT of revenge-themed horror movies.
Can you guess where I found it with that clue?
In your shoe?
When she called Thursday morning to see if they were still doing vaccinations, not only were they not, but also they told her that they'd removed her name from the waitlist because they'd been taking appointments for her group the previous day and she hadn't responded. So she had to sign up AGAIN for a predicted vaccination at the end of February.
Uh, no. I would be out for that pharmacy manager's blood if they didn't reschedule her immediately.
In your shoe?
Nope, but that's a good guess. However, the shoes come off by my nerdhole after dinner, but before I get ready for bed.
The good part of the guess though is that the wallet did fall out but it didn't hit the ground.
In a leg of the pants.
Also an intriguing possibility, but I put the pants on which is when I discovered it was missing.
I won't belabor it.
I remembered struggling getting the pants off over my feet. So I'd already pulled them down (making the wallet vulnerable) and did the one-footed hop etc. while I tried to pin down one cuff with my other foot to extricate.
So there's your Inciting Incident. Shallow back pocket. Struggle to remove.
Had to happen near the bed where I had been sitting when I was taking the pants off.
And I thought, "I wonder if I maybe kicked it under the bed while I was trying to get my foot out..."
It wasn't under the bed though. It had fallen and gotten stuck between the bedframe and the box spring. So it wasn't on the floor where I'd been looking.
tl;dr I didn't have to redo all my online pay systems!
Also, I celebrated with Matilda by getting takeout Thai.
I didn't have to redo all my online pay systems!
Yay!
I keep a document on my computer titled "Someone Stole My Wallet!!!" with details of driver's license and credit cards and debit cards and insurance cards and all the other stuff I'm afraid I might forget.
I realize it's not much more secure than putting a post-it note on my monitor, but at least it has in one place all the details and contact info I will need if I have to replace everything.
I keep a document on my computer titled "Someone Stole My Wallet!!!" with details of driver's license and credit cards and debit cards and insurance cards and all the other stuff I'm afraid I might forget.
Honestly, that's not a bad idea.
Side note: JZ's brother was only able to find a hidden safe in their dad's house after his death because he found a cryptic note in a kitchen drawer that looked like a combination. It was. Thousands of dollars and essential car papers were found.
Also, JZ's brother was somehow able to find the password for their Dad's laptop which turned out to be enormously helpful in settling the estate.
It would be much easier to have that info with your attorney or something.
So I guess I'm asking, Does everybody have a "if I died tomorrow my estate (such as it is) would not be a horror show for my surviving family members (including passwords)" file or folder designated as such?
Because ultimately everybody is going to have a tomorrow they don't see.
[sigh...] We're just mayflies in the scheme of things.
