Natter 77: I miss my friends. I miss my enemies. I miss the people I talked to every day.
Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, butt kicking, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.
there were plenty listed at under $1500 a month, which is reasonable for the city. I'm sorry he is piling the stress on, but he needs to grow up and deal with his own stuff.
Apparently most of the normal apartments require proof of employment and two months of paystubs, so it's not easy to get one without a current job. And because he's a new nurse graduate, a lot of places don't want to hire him. He's got such massive learned helplessness and no life skills because he grew up in a very abusive household and never had an adult to show him how to adult. But that's moot. He has to figure out his own stuff. He's acting like a victim, and he's an adult. The past two months sucked, and also we figure our shit out and move on. I've tried to be compassionate and empathetic and generous because I know my dad would want good things for J., but I also have a lot of debts — many from the past two months — and I want to resolve things in Florida so I can try to start to move on.
If he can’t find work or living quarters where he is, it seems like that $10k would help him get somewhere more affordable, with more opportunities.
Exactly.
Pix I’m so sorry you have to deal with J on top of everything else.
I’m lucky to have known (and been loved by) all 4 of my grandparents. My Mom’s dad died at 70 when I was 18 (and I still miss him all the time. My Dad’s parents died within a week of each other when they were 83 and 79 and I was 25. My Mom’s mom, who I was very close to, died at 84 when I was 35. Her death was the reason I couldn’t go to the DC F2F. My father’s maternal grandmother died when I was 2 and I met her but don’t remember her.
Timelies all!
My parents are in reasonably good shape for their age. My dad is hard of hearing and sometimes forgets he told me a story already, but physically he's fine. My mom has mobility issues, and is working with PT and OT people. I don't think she'll ever walk unaided again, but otherwise she seems to be ok.
I never knew my maternal grandfather, who died while my mom was in college.( I am named for him.) My paternal grandmother died when I was 11, my paternal grandfather when I was in high school. Finally, my maternal grandmother died when I was 19, but she had been in a nursing home for a number of years, and didn't remember who we were most of the time.
Both my parents are older than either of their parents got to be.
Oh Pix. I really hope he gets it together and you can move things forward as quickly as possible.
I’m the only one of my siblings with clear memories of all four grandparents. The grandparent who lived longest was the one we were least close to and she’s the only one my sister can remember.
One of the weirdest things about getting to know my older, half sisters is the realization that they actually grew up very close to my grandparents on my dad’s side, as well as all of the other extended relations that we barely knew.
None of my grandparents and neither of my parents ever went the dementia road and I’m so glad for that. When my mom was struggling with the brain tumors, we occasionally got the tiniest taste of what that might be like. And it still makes my chest tight to think about. I’m so deeply sorrowful for what some of you are going through or have had to deal with in your loved ones. All I can say is I’m glad that this community is here for you as it was for me.
J. is out of his mind. ND called him today to explain why he can't just stay in the condo and that we need to sell it, and J lost it and said he's going to be homeless and his sister is telling him he should be a squatter. I sent him an email clearly laying out that he needs to be out by March 15 or I will have to call the police and I really don't want to do that. I reminded him I gave him money, so he can buy a car (he wanted ND to help him buy a van to live in, which ND doesn't have the spoons to do -- I told him about Carmax), and he can also go to other parts of Florida that aren't as expensive and have nursing shortages. I told him Dad would want better for him, that this doesn't have to be the utter fiasco he's making it, that he has options and that things will get better.
I am so upset. He's so unstable that I worry about him. But I also have nothing left to give him, financially or emotionally. I also reached to to a lawyer about Florida's ejectment law if it comes to that. Please don't let it come to that.
Hoping for you that it doesn't come to that, Pix.
Pix, holy shit. You gave him TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS and he is still asking for more from you?? Good god. I do truly feel for him, but you have gone *well* beyond anything he could have reasonably expected from you. I really hope he gets his act together soon and moves on, for his sake and for yours.
He is not well. It's hard to see and also incredibly upsetting and stressful to deal with. ND is pretty sure he was drunk when he talked to him today.
He definitely did not seem in his right mind when I spoke to him.
Pix and ND I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this. What a nightmare.
