Continued ~ma and happy anniversary, ND and Pix.

Also belated happy birthday to shrift and everyone else I missed here in the past month.

It is bizarre on the home front. Days are full with so many different kinds of heartbreaks and grief - I never knew they were that many - but also with little joys and usual life stuff. It is heartbreaking to me that I can't come to the border with Gaza with trucks of food, the same way I couldn't save anyone on Oct. 7th. It is also heartbreaking to see how many people with political power are trying to make that loss into worse loss than it already is.

I am still slowly trying to make sense of the news. Of Oct. 7th, of the low key war in the north and the hundards of thousands of those who had to evacuate, of the negligence and incompetence and cruelty of this government, of antisemitism and Islamophobia, of my friends with spouses and family members serving. Of so many people who don't know what to do with their fear that they turn it into hate. There is little that we can do right now, but every little action feels like everything. And at the same time, I have my world here. My friends, my solidarity groups. There are cafes and bars and music and shows. Everything has an aftertaste of shock and grief, but there is so much life happening here and now. I came back today from a pop up patisserie‎ and meeting with a friend, and there was a moment on the bus back home where I stopped for a second, wondering if I should feel anxious about exploding busses again since I'm in Jerusalem and we're at a low key or full blown war that's happening an hour, 3 hours, and 4 hours drive from me respectively. And yet a lot of life aspects feel normal. Most of the time it doesn't feel like war, until it is. Or until you read the news, or a tweet. Or when you google a place on TripAdvisor to see when it's open and see the travel warning to the area. It is uncanny to know how much the basic sense of security isn't distributed evenly here.

A post I read online said that feeling of horror is also the feeling of lack of purpose, and I see so many good purposes and intentions and actions here. I'm finally able to concentrate in reading and writing, which I wasn't really being able to do in the past three months. Also some future planning, which was too difficult to grasp as well. And tomorrow marks 3 months since it all started.

I don't know what the future holds here. I really don't. But I know impermanence. And I know there will be a strike next Sunday against the government. And I know I'll have cholent ready in 2-3 hours. And I know that next week I'm able to donate blood again, after that donation on Oct. 8th and the 9 hour queue (because there were thousands there). For now, that's more than enough. I'm grateful for what I have, and also heartbroken for those around me who need so much more security, food and shelter. I wish I could feed them all.

Shir, it is always so good to read your posts, both just to see that you are okay and to get your perspective and thoughts which are always so sane and thoughtful. I'm so glad I know you.

Shir, it is always so good to read your posts, both just to see that you are okay and to get your perspective and thoughts which are always so sane and thoughtful. I'm so glad I know you.

That is exactly how I feel, as well.

Our work Winter Celebration is today. 4-7 at a golf course, kind of weird, but I will take the excuse to knock off early. The buffet last night was good food, at least, and I think we got two free drinks.

I believe I should get some sort of recognition for my 10 years with the company but I've had no intimation of what that might entail, so perhaps not. If there's nothing I will certainly complain on the next employee engagement survey, if we have one.

Echoing -t and David.

Shir, I really value your posts. It gives me something to think about and hold onto when I'm On Call dealing with the conflict and feeling some kind of way about having to look at war crimes. Seeking out community is a much better way to live than isolating, so it's a good reminder for me to spend time with people and take joy where I can find it.

Take the free corporate foodstuffs and anniversary merch!

We're doing the Bowie show one week from today, with my friend and her family flying down from Seattle to attend with me, Matilda and Jes.

Since it's at the Great American Music Hall, they emailed me their January calendar and I immediately snapped up tickets for this event on January 31st:

SF Sketchfest teams up with the Red Room Orchestra for a special in-person Tribute to Kyle MacLachlan, who is best known for his iconic performance as FBI Agent 'Dale Cooper' in David Lynch's groundbreaking series "Twin Peaks." In what has become a tradition, the Red Room Orchestra will play music from the "Twin Peaks" soundtrack along with selections from some of MacLachlan's other projects including "Blue Velvet," "Dune," "The Doors" and more. In a twist on the festival's typical Tribute format, the event will focus primarily on music, but will also feature surreal interactions and conversation with MacLachlan alongside another special guest from the "Twin Peaks" universe, Carel Struycken, who played the series' inimitable Giant and The Fireman. The Red Room Orchestra, under the direction of Marc Capelle, will feature performances from guests Margaret Cho, Petra Haden, and more.

Red Room Orchestra TWIN PEAKS With Allyson Baker, Tom Ayres, Toby Dammit aka Larry Mullins, Karina Denike, Ben Goldberg, Scott Larson, Beth Lisick, Pete Straus, and Michael Urbano.

I am all about the corporate provided foodstuffs!

Oooh, that is a lot of awesome you have planned for January!

Kyle was also Charlotte York's impotent, mama's boy first husband, which, to be frank, is mostly where I know him from. He did a good job with a very thankless part that many actors would probably feel weird about. Occasionally, I felt bad for Trey, especially once we met his mother. As for the awesome, you deserve it, Hec. I am looking at ways to get fewer meetings and more awesome in my own life, but Phoenix isn't very cool. I also look forward to hearing from Shir.

He had a similarly thankless role on Desperate Housewives, didn't he? I don't remember the details, I just remember thinking he did a nice job with a not obviously likable part.

wouldn't surprise me, although I don't really know that one.