He's almost definitely going to have to go into assisted living from rehab. Right now I'm just hoping he will recover enough to be able to go into assisted living and not have to be in a nursing home.
There is no one else. I am am only child. His sisters are all elderly and/or dead. There are no cousins who know my dad well enough for me to ask for help, and they all have families of their own. ND is my only backup, and he is trying to hold things together at home while I'm gone. My friends in FL are wonderful and willing to check in, but they can't make any decisions and don't know his history — and it's not fair to ask them to deal with the kind of advanced caregiving needed for a completely incapacitated 81 year old man.
I spent yesterday with my friend Martha and my friend Alan. Alan was married to Lisa, my friend who died this year. Martha, lisa, and I were besties in college. And Martha just had surgery for breast cancer that was diagnosed in Nov.
We did basically nothing all day and it was exactly what we all needed.
Today we are doing a little driving sightseeing in Baltimore before they need to head back to NY.
I’m so sorry, Pix
And differently but very sincerely also Dana
Oh no, Dana! I'm so sorry. Vomit is not the way to start the new year.
Vomit is not the way to start the new year.
It's not
preferred,
but it is traditional.
Rehab is really hard - the transition of information is so shoddy and the level of care a bigger change than you expect, even at a good quality facility. We managed my dad’s care in hosp and rehab stints from 75 or 100 miles away and it was brutally complicated and exhausting. I can’t imagine how hard it is from across country. But I think you are right that being there is critical, both to establish the right understanding and level of care but also to impress upon the facility that your dad has people who are paying attention. You have my deepest sympathy.
Late getting to the board today, but still in time to send Happy Birthday wishes to Susan W! I do hope that you are being spoiled today and that the year to come is filled with love and laughter.
(will go back and catch up in a bit)
Husband and I both spent the night vomiting, so 2023 and 2024 can go fuck themselves right now.
Dana, I literally feel your pain. The best comfort I have is: if it's the same thing we had, it doesn't last too long.
