Laura, I saw a mix for Red Lobster's cheddar biscuits in the grocery the other day. I was tempted, but decided not to buy the mix. I've never been to a Red Lobster, so I haven't (yet) experienced the yumminess.

{{ltc and parents}} Yes, the boys were 7 and 9 on 9/11 and it was a challenge to explain why all the adults were crying and why all the television channels were filled with horror. Nilly surely has better words for how to do this, but mostly we let the children know that we were very sad and that things were bad, but that we were okay and that we would get through it.

I've never been to a Red Lobster, so I haven't (yet) experienced the yumminess.

Kind of like crack, better not to try it. I hear the mixes work well, mostly Brendon makes them with Bisquick, a bunch of cheese, and brushes the top with garlic butter and parsley. I think Old Bay Spice is involved, but it has been a while since I was around when he made them.

I'm sorry, Nora.

Thanks for checking in, Nilly and Shir.

When I was a kid, going to Red Lobster was a special treat after visiting the grandparents in Saginaw. At the time I don't think there was a restaurant that served shrimp, scallops, or oysters in my home town, so 8-year old me thought Red Lobster was the bee's knees. I've since moved to NC and eaten seafood at the shore, which reset my perspective there. But the cheddar biscuits remain outstanding.

8-year old me thought Red Lobster was the bee's knees

In the rural county where I grew up in the 70s and 80s, Red Lobster was basically the only option for a nice dinner out. (Until Chi-Chi's came along, and then we had 2 options.) I always got a Shirley Temple at Red Lobster, which I thought was the coolest thing ever.

I've since moved to NC and eaten seafood at the shore, which reset my perspective there.

Man, vacations at the beach in NC and SC have ruined me for all other seafood.

which means I'm usually up until 2am these days, trying to make some sense out of it. I can't, but a part of me is still trying to understand

I don't think I've slept a single night through, since October 7th. I know what you mean.

I don't even know what I'm hoping for at this point

Me, too. I keep ending conversations with wishes for good news, without specifically saying what good news I'm talking about, because I have no idea what news may be good news.

If I dream of something, it's a coalition and solidarity of moderates and liberals against far right and militants, Jewish or Arab.

Oh, goodness, yes, please. Not that I have any idea as to how anything like this may happen, but the only way I can maintain any sort of faith in a possible solution - no, it's more than that, it's faith in the possibility that there may someday be some sort of a solution - is when I cling to my very deep belief that most people simply want to live their lives the way I want to live mine, spend time with their family and friends, do their job well, find pleasure in the beauty and wisdom of the world.

Keep checking in even when it feels like just doing that is the most you can do <3

Thank you for that.

And I'm not sure I express myself properly here, but, for me, well, not ignoring me, because posting in invisible pixels is never fun, but just reading your posts, the ups and downs of the everyday lives of people I care about, is good. Please don't feel like you need to address the war and its horrors just because I can't help but live through it. Oy, I'm sure now that I didn't express myself properly, but I'm not sure how to phrase this.

I have no idea how to explain this to her.

I have no idea how to do it, either. No, really. I mean, obviously my kids know that people were killed, that really bad things happened to innocent people, and that there are deaths and kidnapped hostages. But as much as I can tell, they don't know most of the really horrific details (um, I try not to expose myself to such details, as well).

PiBoy got his first cellphone on the last week of August, before the schoolyear started here, and he got a very serious talk from us parents about not watching videos that are being sent on social media (he's only on WhatsApp, so far), and how if he gets curious about something being sent to him, he should watch with one of us. So far, I think he manages to handle these boundaries.

Obviously, I can't know what's discussed between the kids when they are not at home. A friend of mine, whose eldest daughter is around ltc's age, IIRC (3rd grade), only let her invite friends home, for the first couple of weeks of the war, and not go to stay with friends, so she could make sure what's discussed with her and what news she's exposed to.

We try to answer all their questions truthfully, to make sure they know that we're not hiding stuff from them, but that we try to protect ourselves - and not just them - from the too-harsh details. We also try to emphasize how we can handle things if something horrible happens here (going to the safe room, showing confidence in their knowledge of what to do if something happens), make sure they know that we and they have what do to and how to deal with difficult situations.

It took me by surprise when I realized that both my children were old enough to absorb news through satire tv shows, like [link] or [link] or [link] (they even managed to follow the English!). And we talked about each sketch, so I could try to understand what they understood. Something in how the humor distances from the actual harshness of the truth worked well for them (also, mocking me for tearing up in the middle of one of the skeches. Mocking me is always good for them).

mostly we let the children know that we were very sad and that things were bad, but that we were okay and that we would get through it.

No better words. These are really good words, and pretty much what we try to say here, as well.

eaten seafood at the shore, which reset my perspective there.

Had I not kept kosher, that's very definitely one of the things I would have loved to try.

It took me by surprise when I realized that both my children were old enough to absorb news through satire tv shows, like [link] or [link] or [link] (they even managed to follow the English!). And we talked about each sketch, so I could try to understand what they understood. Something in how the humor distances from the actual harshness of the truth worked well for them (also, mocking me for tearing up in the middle of one of the skeches. Mocking me is always good for them).

Those are really wild. It always amazes me how humor writers can spin any situation. And yes, mocking mom is an all-time favorite sport! (it was for me, and it is for my kids)

{{{{{Nilly}}}}}

In better parenting news, I found an advent calendar for ltc with a rock a day, and she absolutely squealed with glee when she saw it.

The good thing is, is that there are lots of joint initiatives. It's impressive and heartwarming and gives hope. And even though some things are heartbreaking and may seem bleak, just the act of working together makes me feel so much better. I ended one meeting yesterday and saw that everyone's faces were so sad - but for me, just the act of gathering together, Jews and Arabs, and putting in time and intention in a non violent and hopeful direction gives me hope. So I used the last two minutes to tell them funny stories on my sister's dog and ask them to take care of themselves, even if it means they take a few days off.

Also impressive, but unfortunately violent: about 50 minutes ago there were sirens in 117 different areas, almost simultaneously. You know, at some point I'd thought they'll run out of rockets, but apparently they still have a lot.

Here's some hope: [link]

I found an advent calendar for ltc with a rock a day, and she absolutely squealed with glee when she saw it.

I had one of those last year, and it was THE BEST.