(((Karl)))

My new job starts 11/27. BS continues at current job, but at least now I can at least focus on wrapping things up.

I'm making a conscious effort to connect and reconnect with people.

I'm glad to hear that, because I know connection is your lifeblood. And I don't mean passive connection, like "Oh, I know this person," but connection as a consciously chosen action has always seemed like such a foundational part of who you are.

Congrats, msbelle! Although, did you mean to say that the new job also has BS? If so I will mute my congrats a bit.

I'm glad you're making plans, Hec.

So, legal abortions, legal weed, save our railroad.

That does seem pretty solid. Good luck, Ohio (and everyone voting everywhere)

So, legal abortions, legal weed, save our railroad.

I'd approve that.

I'm meeting a friend for an early lunch, but I forgot to confirm the time in my calendar, because, despite all evidence to he contrary, I still trust my memory. I'm half an hour early.

Congrats, msbelle.

Virginia has its elections today - the entire state legislature is on the ballot. Seemingly, it's seen as a bellwether for the country at large. The campaign ads have been incessant and nasty. I've found that when there's an election, the safest thing to say the day after is that I'm glad it's over.

I'm using my extra time to set up the holiday/winter card exchange link. Kind of wish we could send live hugs to the huggers and live knowing nods of love and comfort to the less hug-inclined. But cards it is.

If you're interested this year, check Press in a few minutes...

-t

That was an error, I meant current job. I am blissfully unaware of any drama or nonsense at the new job and hope I can stay ignorant of any fir at least several months.

Oh, good, msbelle, that's what I hoped. Much louder congratulations!

Yay new job msbelle! I’m jealous except I don’t want to have to apply or interview for new jobs. I just want to magically make money without dealing with my job.

I'm glad to hear that, because I know connection is your lifeblood. And I don't mean passive connection, like "Oh, I know this person," but connection as a consciously chosen action has always seemed like such a foundational part of who you are.

That's certainly true though I don't know if I would have articulated it like that.

It still feels like a magic trick I learned in college. "So if I like somebody and think they're interesting, I can make plans with them and talk about stuff and be curious about them, and support them and they support me and it's fun? And then we're friends?"

In my immediate post-college years my whole life was organized around waiting past midnight to make long distance calls, and long involved correspondences and spending my tax refund on going to visit friends.

I maintained that for a long time until EM and I got divorced, which caused a massive breach and retreat into myself.

During Lockdown I did spend a lot of time making CARE packages for people - often people I only knew tangentially. A friend of a friend who I'd chatted with on FB, or somebody who came on my Tom Waits' tour or the wife of a college friend, or somebody's daughter I'd shown around SF etc. I really enjoyed that.

The recent focus has been more on building in-person relationships with people in closer proximity to me. It's been huge having my friend Jes living only five blocks away. I haven't had a close friend living nearby in 20 years! It's so nice to just shoot a text and say, "I'm walking past your house, do you want to grab a glass of wine?"

And some of my parent-friends from Matilda's relationships have grown into their own thing with regular get togethers (Michelle, Rick and Janet, Stephanie).

Some of Jacqueline's close friends too (Lisa, Marta, Charlotte) have built bonds with me. Marta - Matilda's godmother - is coming over on Thursday to make Hungarian Mushroom Soup with me.

Plus, Buffistae, of course! I have lunch plans with Sylvie and Julianna I'll be cashing in soon.

Making plans with friends who've drifted out of my life because they moved to the Easty Bay (Lauren, Joce, Cecily).

Deepening family relationships (Crystal, Nicole, Brandon, Angela).

And the parasocial relationships I have with people at bookstores and comic book stores and bars are not something I take for granted anymore, because I felt that loss keenly during the Lockdown.

So I'm certainly not lonely in that sense, and I love the process of building a new friendship.

But not having a primary relationship, not having somebody to come home to, is hard. I have the pictures I had framed for Jacqueline's funeral service out on the parlor table and miss her face 18 times a day.