I skipped over this piece of good news earlier but meant to say, I hope her departure is even more friendly to your blood pressure than the kale.

I can hear her outside talking to the neighbor. She said she was going to leave at 11, dangit!

A brief litany of rude, weird and inappropriate things she said on this trip:

"There are a lot of things I didn't like about your marriage with Jacqueline but I do appreciate that you made her smile."

"Obviously, among the kids [referring to her own three children], T.J. and Lukas have the best marriage."

Her: "I haven't heard from Judy [her sister, not my sister also named Judy] since Jacqueline passed."
Me: "Oh, well, she's contacted me a few times."
Her: "That's because Judy always goes for the men!"

Mil: [shit talking my SiL Angela as usual]
Me: "Well, I had a great time with Angela. I'm always happy to see her."
MiL: "That's because Angela always goes for the men!"

Her: "Well, you know, George [her nephew] is just so unbelievably handsome."
Me: "He is."
Her: "I was telling Elene [George's mother, her SiL] 'Can you imagine what it was like for his wife to look up and see that face while they were having sex?"

ETA: My favorite bit of all-time Narcissism is that she had to gall to say, several times, "I just have to get used to the fact that I'm alone in my family."

This after she has moved from Reno to Portland to be with Chris and Angela and their kids AND her other son, Lukas, and his husband, TJ have sold their house in CT to move to Portland to be nearer to her. Literally she has her whole family pulled into her stupid little orbit.

Anyway, she is now gone.

Oh, my god, Hec, unbelievable... except very believable. I stopped actually using that word long about 2016, but it slips in every once in a while. I hope you're relieved of her presence by now. Wow.

It's been a whirlwind of weird up in my sector for the last little while, but things seem to be settling. Ish. The new pup continues to charm. Don't really care all that much about the rest of it at the mo'... not in a dark way, just in a my brain is mush way.

I have been reading and thinking good thoughts for all of you, as always. This place, man. So special.

My mom's mom used to say shit like that, too. She's dead, gotta echo Moms, and say "Good," even though that seems "way harsh, Tai" to say about your grandma. But I was, like, the first draft, you know? My brother was so favored that people from other dysfunctional families pointed it out.

I do like Sunny, but she has no need to judge me. Also, if it gets down to it, I'll tell her to kiss my crippled, heathen ass. *But, Hec, you're the best partner a woman could ask for...she's dense if she doesn't get it. (Or sic David Simon on her.)

I appreciate it so when folks document the utterly horrible things said by family members. Reminds me why certain boundaries have been set, and should be maintained.

I mean, I grok the concept of narcissisms and yet...still gobsmacked sometimes by the things that actually come out of people's mouths. Where they can be heard. By other people.

I still have bulk wheatberries so I'm trying a sweet/savory cold salad from an afro-vegan cookbook that was a gift last winter time. No kale, the only green is cilantro. It's a beautiful cookbook and very well intentioned (includes recommended music playlists for certain recipes) but even simple seeming recipes become overly complicated. I had to soak the grains overnight in boiling water, then dry toast them in the pan before adding water and bringing to a boil. It's surprisingly challenging to toast wet grains without getting a layer stuck to the bottom of the pan. Two of the "ingredients" are recipes from other pages. Ugh. at least the sidebar internal recipes don't require overnight prep also.

I mean, I grok the concept of narcissisms and yet...still gobsmacked sometimes by the things that actually come out of people's mouths. Where they can be heard. By other people.

Truly! It is good to hear the MIL has left. May the stress level respond accordingly.

"I just have to get used to the fact that I'm alone in my family."

My Aunt W (the one who recently passed away) tried pulling that kind of thing on Mom . Aunt W did lose her son but Mom moved in with her and her grandson for about 6 months, not to mention dealt with ALL the legal stuff for my cousin's estate, and his son's guardianship etc, and so much else. I heard Aunt W say this on the phone and I almost lost my cool and said something rude to her.

Hi, just caught up with a lot of reading since early Sept. Glad you are ok, Hil. Mohs-wound-tending-ma, Hec. Yikes re Sunny sayings. I wanted to like her based on bookstore + name alone. I don't know her of course. My oldest sister says the most ghastly things. I probably could top Sunny & possibly meet Erin's persons. Probably not beej or java chick though. One odd thing is that sister regularly accuses people of stealing things from her. It seems to have started when a photo album she put together had two pages stuck to each other. Once they were unstuck, well someone had to have stolen all the photos that were there. She accuses her daughter in law of breaking into her house & stealing clothes pretty regularly. Sis is nearly 80, still trim, but still. Why would an attractive late-30-yr old want her clothes even it was true? That's just the puzzling stuff. There's always vitriol under the surface, waiting to erupt. Meara derivation was cereal and serial. I wonder if meara got the joke if something cereal related ever came with anonymous holiday presents. Two kind things Jacqueline did for me: talk to someone at her church for the adult son of a friend. The son has a BA from Berkeley in Japanese & expressed interest in a SF paralegal job. JZ thought she knew of something apt, & she did, even though he ultimately chose to take a job that lets him WFH in way-out West Marin. (I would've wanted to live on my own in SF but different generations & more). Then, she had a referral for me/us for a probate attorney in Portland, carry-over from the drug-addicted neighbor's daughter, & everyone is really happy with that attorney. Both are, were, much appreciated.

One odd thing is that sister regularly accuses people of stealing things from her.

A family friend did that for years after her husband died. Accused the neighbors of breaking into the house when she wasn't there. Called police regularly. It was a really bad psychosis issue. Serious paranoia. Fortunately, she ended up as guardian for a disabled adult relative and that seemed to give her a sense of purpose and she seems okay now. It was super scary because she was a well-educated successful woman and seeing her go off the rails was awful.

"I just have to get used to the fact that I'm alone in my family."

I wouldn't contradict the MiL on this, just in case it might mean fewer visits from her.

The only significant thing I've done today is take my mom to the downtown BBQ festival for lunch. Afternoon sun was brutal at about 94°, but it gave us an excuse to buy peach ice cream on the way back to the car.