My mom's mom used to say shit like that, too. She's dead, gotta echo Moms, and say "Good," even though that seems "way harsh, Tai" to say about your grandma. But I was, like, the first draft, you know? My brother was so favored that people from other dysfunctional families pointed it out.

I do like Sunny, but she has no need to judge me. Also, if it gets down to it, I'll tell her to kiss my crippled, heathen ass. *But, Hec, you're the best partner a woman could ask for...she's dense if she doesn't get it. (Or sic David Simon on her.)

I appreciate it so when folks document the utterly horrible things said by family members. Reminds me why certain boundaries have been set, and should be maintained.

I mean, I grok the concept of narcissisms and yet...still gobsmacked sometimes by the things that actually come out of people's mouths. Where they can be heard. By other people.

I still have bulk wheatberries so I'm trying a sweet/savory cold salad from an afro-vegan cookbook that was a gift last winter time. No kale, the only green is cilantro. It's a beautiful cookbook and very well intentioned (includes recommended music playlists for certain recipes) but even simple seeming recipes become overly complicated. I had to soak the grains overnight in boiling water, then dry toast them in the pan before adding water and bringing to a boil. It's surprisingly challenging to toast wet grains without getting a layer stuck to the bottom of the pan. Two of the "ingredients" are recipes from other pages. Ugh. at least the sidebar internal recipes don't require overnight prep also.

I mean, I grok the concept of narcissisms and yet...still gobsmacked sometimes by the things that actually come out of people's mouths. Where they can be heard. By other people.

Truly! It is good to hear the MIL has left. May the stress level respond accordingly.

"I just have to get used to the fact that I'm alone in my family."

My Aunt W (the one who recently passed away) tried pulling that kind of thing on Mom . Aunt W did lose her son but Mom moved in with her and her grandson for about 6 months, not to mention dealt with ALL the legal stuff for my cousin's estate, and his son's guardianship etc, and so much else. I heard Aunt W say this on the phone and I almost lost my cool and said something rude to her.

Hi, just caught up with a lot of reading since early Sept. Glad you are ok, Hil. Mohs-wound-tending-ma, Hec. Yikes re Sunny sayings. I wanted to like her based on bookstore + name alone. I don't know her of course. My oldest sister says the most ghastly things. I probably could top Sunny & possibly meet Erin's persons. Probably not beej or java chick though. One odd thing is that sister regularly accuses people of stealing things from her. It seems to have started when a photo album she put together had two pages stuck to each other. Once they were unstuck, well someone had to have stolen all the photos that were there. She accuses her daughter in law of breaking into her house & stealing clothes pretty regularly. Sis is nearly 80, still trim, but still. Why would an attractive late-30-yr old want her clothes even it was true? That's just the puzzling stuff. There's always vitriol under the surface, waiting to erupt. Meara derivation was cereal and serial. I wonder if meara got the joke if something cereal related ever came with anonymous holiday presents. Two kind things Jacqueline did for me: talk to someone at her church for the adult son of a friend. The son has a BA from Berkeley in Japanese & expressed interest in a SF paralegal job. JZ thought she knew of something apt, & she did, even though he ultimately chose to take a job that lets him WFH in way-out West Marin. (I would've wanted to live on my own in SF but different generations & more). Then, she had a referral for me/us for a probate attorney in Portland, carry-over from the drug-addicted neighbor's daughter, & everyone is really happy with that attorney. Both are, were, much appreciated.

One odd thing is that sister regularly accuses people of stealing things from her.

A family friend did that for years after her husband died. Accused the neighbors of breaking into the house when she wasn't there. Called police regularly. It was a really bad psychosis issue. Serious paranoia. Fortunately, she ended up as guardian for a disabled adult relative and that seemed to give her a sense of purpose and she seems okay now. It was super scary because she was a well-educated successful woman and seeing her go off the rails was awful.

"I just have to get used to the fact that I'm alone in my family."

I wouldn't contradict the MiL on this, just in case it might mean fewer visits from her.

The only significant thing I've done today is take my mom to the downtown BBQ festival for lunch. Afternoon sun was brutal at about 94°, but it gave us an excuse to buy peach ice cream on the way back to the car.

Dylan and I are on our own and he has decided he wants to make beef Wellington tonight. I talked him out of a full size roast and so instead we have two filet mignons (filets mignon?) ready to be wrapped in mushrooms, prosciutto, and puff pastry

Reader, they were fucking delicious.

Sounds like the Senate is voting on a continuing resolution, which would keep the government open for another six weeks, yay.