I mean, all I’ve been is words on a screen here to most!

But this is all very real to me. Even when I’m not here much anymore. We grew up together, so many ways.

Anyway, as I crash towards bed, know I treasure this.

It’s 6:45 am in Europe. I woke up 15 minutes ago and checked here first thing. I’m numb, yet I’m crying for all of us. I’m heartbroken for Matilda, who deserved an eternity with her mother, and Sunny, who never should have had to watch her daughter die. David, I’m so sorry you’re now part of this damnable club. Please, please allow yourself to lose your shit too. You are not responsible for keeping everyone else from falling apart.

You’d think since I can trill my “Rs” that I could ululate. Dear readers, I’m sorry to say that is not the case. I sound like I’m gargling salt water while being phlegmatic at the same time. It’s not a sound any human should hear, but I tried for JZ.

I can see Greece from our balcony on a clear day. I hope today is the clearest ever. Regardless, I’ll be getting flowers later and letting them go in the sea so that a memory of Jacqueline reaches the shores of the beloved country that she couldn’t visit as often as she wanted. Much love, peace and strength to all of us.

[Hi Nilly]

Maria, that sounds lovely.

The pet shop near me where (i think) JZ & Matilda got the first set of Zmayhem piggies is being given away. The owner wants to retiré & doesn't have anyone to pass it on to, so he's asking for people to come take it over. So help me, I had the wild thought of doing so & renaming it in JZ's honor before my sanity viciously reasserted itself.

JZ was COMMed here ( [link] ) writing:

And I'm one of those theists who goes around thinking, "Just wait until those atheists die and Jesus and Buddha show up with a six-pack of beer and say 'Hey, you didn't even believe and you were a pretty decent person anyway! Go you!' Ha ha! Won't those atheists be surprised, with the heaven and the beer! I will laugh!"

So I can't help but imagine her now with whichever equivalent to Jesus or Buddha greeting her with a martini (that was her drink of choice, right?), telling her "Hey, you were so much more than just a pretty decent person anyway, you were absolutely great! Go you!".

So I imagine her laughing, as well.

And yes, they're paraphrasing her own words, because her words deserve this, and obviously they've been keeping up with COMM (divine or not, the may be skipping and skimming Natter and Bitches, because they have their hands full, what with greeting people and having drinks with them and all, but still keeping up with Press and Beep Me and COMM, for the important stuff).

[Edit: Sorry if it's too early, or inappropriate. Especially after Maria's lovely description.]

Nilly, I love it.

can see Greece from our balcony on a clear day. I hope today is the clearest ever. Regardless, I’ll be getting flowers later and letting them go in the sea so that a memory of Jacqueline reaches the shores of the beloved country that she couldn’t visit as often as she wanted.

What a beautiful gesture. I feel it, and I know she would too.

I'm sure Jacqueline would love to be welcomed into heaven with an ice cold martini with three Kalamata olives on it, hanging with Jesus and Buddha and some rando but excellent atheists.

The mood here is so much lighter. There was a lot of laughter, and crying. But it was so good. A release for all the people who did the emotional labor.

The mood here is so much lighter. There was a lot of laughter, and crying. But it was so good. A release for all the people who did the emotional labor.

I am glad beyond words.

Oh David, Matilda, Emmett. This is all too much. David, I am so sorry to hear about your sister.

I have a lot of feelings but I still don't have a lot of words, so I'll repeate the offer to send religious items from the Old City of Jerusalem to anyone who might want them.

Also, Consuela is very smart.

I love y'all.

The mood here is so much lighter. There was a lot of laughter, and crying. But it was so good. A release for all the people who did the emotional labor.

I’m so glad. It’s going to be a long rollercoaster ride now, with all that metaphor implies. We are here for the highs and the lows, the screams and the laughter.