Sending all my love and gentle-passing ~ma to our beloved Jacqueline and so much love to each of you, Hec. I'm so glad you got these final days with her and memories to cherish.
As I write this, I'm half-asleep in Laura and Brendon's condo, despite the fact they are currently in New York, thinking about the love of Buffistas. As you all know, my dad isn't in great health — vascular dementia and a host of other issues from 80 years of not taking care of himself and 40+ years of smoking. We had some unbelievable luck; his part-time caregiver the past two years, James, ran into a housing issue in June, and we all decided a neat solution would be for him to move in with my Dad — no rent for continued part-time care. Not only is James a kind, ethical dedicated human, he's also just graduated from nursing school and is now a fully certified nurse. And he loves my dad like a father. Despite the fact he's going to have an insanely good-paying job as an ER nurse pretty soon and could easily move into his own place, for now, at least, he doesn't want to leave dad. So I have a fully certified nurse living with my dad, and I'm not draining his assets for his care. Just yesterday, James called me because he saw my dad take a fall while walking his dog Sonny. He rushed out with his inhaler (Dad was having an asthma attack that could have killed him) and assessed him to make sure he didn't have internal bleeding from hitting his head. If he hadn't been there, I honestly think my father might now be dead. I am deeply grateful. Please add James to your list of people we love.
Anyway, since James is in the guest room, when I come out to check in on Dad and deal with odds and ends, I can't stay there anymore. B & L live just 15 minutes away, and Laura immediately offered me their place, despite the fact they've been up at their cabin all summer. So I'm lying in their bed, filled with gratitude for the love of Buffistas, and thinking about morally elegant Jacqueline. It seems apt.
May everyone move through the next part gently, ~ma. Although I am rarely here these days, you all are always in my thoughts, and I am with you.
I’m in awe of us again. This is what we do. We are here, consistently, for each other. From afar. In person when we can. Emotionally, financially, practically. We are stewards of each others’s stories, as R likes to say.
I have a little clay penguin from one of the f2fs. I forget who made them, or which one it was. Wisconsin? Seattle? But I grabbed it and it lives on my altar, because I decided to associate it with the March of the Penguins, and how in tough conditions they take turns being on the outside of the circle and who’s on the inside in safety and warmth.
And that’s what we do. And that is real actual family. And one of the blessings of this big chosen (Chosen) family is that there’s always someone to step up, with the words and/or the money and/the listening ear and/or the practical advice. And we may be insular in some protective ways but we are also very welcoming to those who share our values.
IDK, man. I love everyone in this bar right now. Nowhere else I’d rather virtually be.
Yes, James is on the list of people we love. When we watch the news, or see hateful people in our lives. it is important to remember that our lives include morally elegant people too! I am grateful for all of you.
Morally elegant!
In particular I also want to echo the words of Kate and Laura.
I’m so glad your Dad has James, Pix!!!! What a blessing.
My Dad is in in-patient rehab and is doing better physically but he’s confused and wants to come home/doesn’t want my mom to leave. It’s hard on both of them but I’m glad she’s getting a break from being his main caregiver.
Lisah! Happy birthday! I hope you are being spoiled today. May the year to come be a most excellent one. I hope the rehab stay helps both of your parents.
Pix, I've been thinking about you and your dad; I'm so glad James is there for you all.
That sounds like such a boon, Kristin. Glad your dad has James to watch over him.
Been reading everyone’s lovely words and so happy to be a newbie in this community. (Yes, nearly 20 years later I still feel like a newbie.)
I’m more inclined to text or call directly to many of you to whom I would otherwise comment here (I’m looking at you, Pix!), so I’m usually pretty quiet.
But I wanted to say “Welcome to the world, Arthur!” Hope by now you’re at home and “relaxing” like a normal infant does! Congrats on the growing family, Debet.
I’m sorry about your aunt, Askye.
