Strix, what you posted was lovely and far more eloquent than I could be right now. Thank you.

(Words of all sorts are failing me today, which is bad as I have Manager Nonsense to take care of.)

Hec, you have earned the right to say fuck as many times as you feel the need to.

Oh G-D have you. When I was dealing with stuff around my Mom's passing, I would go out in the yard, smash things with a hammer, and cry a lot.

Yikes, aurelia! Be careful, maybe go to a library or something?

I'm fine. I think my living room is probably around 85° since I didn't let the sun in this morning. I'm hoping I can keep it the same tomorrow because I fear taking Gilda to work with me would be more stressful for her than staying in the heat.

Whew, that's good.

The heat -- and the fires -- are all so crazy and awful. The whole "world burning" thing doesn't seem like a joke at all.

This summer has either been hot as hell or torrential downpours. I’m done with it and ready for sweaters and pumpkin spice.

I cannot honestly imagine being as graceful, eloquent, and loving in such a painful situation as you have been, David.

Dana has the right of it.

My coping today has been making a video appt with the doctor about my cough and head, sleeping a LOT, and setting up with a new therapist for an appt on Friday, because I really need someone to talk to.

That's actually fantastic coping, Amy. Good going.

I am mostly reading and nodding and sending waves of love out to everyone.

109 even with AC is bad, without AC it’s horrific!!

I am so over my job right now. But I know any other job would be similar. But there’s just too many things to do and I can’t do them all and I’m so close to just giving up on doing ANY of them.

Dad's cousin died last Friday after a long bout with breast cancer, and while we weren't close (what with a 31 year age difference), we were simpatico, and I am more bummed than I might otherwise be what with everything else going on. She was nine years Dad's junior, the product of a wartime encounter between my great-aunt and a soldier when her mother was in England during said war (though I am told that the soldier was Canadian as well), and one of us who was interested in the family tree and history. She was also a hoot, and she'll be missed.

Agh. My boss sent a really wild email on Friday reaming someone out (when nobody asked her to). And it caused a shitshow. And she sent another one Monday that was the exact opposite (thanks so much for all you do). And this was supposedly on my behalf. I ended up calling her boss and sharing them and saying I don’t see her being productive with this team any longer and can I have a new manager (she is my people manager but isn’t actually involved in my projects, so it’s really interchangeable). Her boss has now set up a meeting where we are supposed to discuss for 10 minutes each what we want the other person (me and my boss) to do more of/less of/etc, per her agenda. I would rather gnaw off my own arm than have this meeting. What the duck.

I feel you meara. I had a deeply unprofessional crying meltdown about my idiot boss in a department heads meeting last Thursday, talked to HR Friday, apologized Saturday, and tried to have a reconciliation meeting yesterday which sucked almost as much as the original meltdown. I was really hoping to live this job and spend the rest of my career in it but it’s so dysfunctional and the guy I helped hire to be my boss is so so so bad at being a leader.

I mean, he spent February to May acting like he and his other direct report were having an affair (the whole workplace was appalled) and I get called unprofessional for getting visibly frustrated with him? He thinks he’s doing a good job and meanwhile half the staff is coming to me asking me to save them from him and I hate it so much. I think I need a new job.