Yeah...whatever decides what happens on this planet, don't think it has much to do with *deserving*. Sometimes I think mine? Is like when McNulty got boat patrol cause he said he liked open spaces.

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I wish you didn't have that pain, erikaj. I won't insult you by pretending that I can relate to your situation, but the cast of characters in my life have been so, so awful, I've had similar experiences.

I was tempted for a second to go through the litany of things I did for those people as they passed, but it's not a flex. I did all of it for my own humanity. In some ways, I guess, to prove how not-them I am, which is honestly the greatest joy of my life. My service was genuine, because it was mine, but it was not remotely out of loyalty.

What that service did for me was to dilute the effect of their evil on me and to create a stalwart and completely open ability to be with people I do love and appreciate. While they burned the fear of death out of me, they made it possible for me to be with others. So. That's the upside.

If you ever want to trade vile grandmother stories, ping me. I'm down.

We all voted.

And the lurkers support us in email.

And the lurkers support us in email.

Yup.

The Vampiric Council and the Eldergoth Council also support this ruling: JZ is the best.

Hospice nurse reports it will be less than a month. I'm weirdly relieved to have a timeline.

Given the choice of sudden or knowing in advance I would choose knowing in advance. There is a certain comfort to having the opportunity to express your love and say goodbye. Ya know, and delete your search history. Also, it is an opportunity for those of us at a distance to tell you how much you mean to us. I love you Jacqueline, and I wish you didn't have to be going through any of this. You have brought countless smiles to this face.

I haven't been very vocal, for that I apologize. But I'm here in the midst of community and sending all comfort and loving vibes I can summon in the direction of the Zmayhem, all.

JZ, I hope every single day we are lucky enough to still have your presence also brings you a sense of pleasure.

Also, it's great to see everyone chiming in about how great you are, because remember when I visited you right after your diagnosis last year - and you denied that you were the best? You actually argued with me and insisted on naming at least 5 other Buffistas who were somehow better people? Now, I know it's not a competition, but even so, you really are the bestest. I am glad you're getting the chance to soak up all of our love and admiration.

And yeah, listen, I'll admit I've cranked about David being an over-sharer in the past! But let me go on the record that I am currently grateful for that abundance of detail he likes to provide. JZ would probably want to share it herself, but her fingers can't keep up like David's can.