Love and strength to you and your family, meara.

Yes. this. Again and always.

Here's hoping the rest of the process is gentler and less stressful for you and your family, meara.

The construction crew across the street who decided that the entire neighborhood should wake up at 7:30 this morning have not gotten on my good side by continuing their jackhammering for 2 1/2 hours. I'm particularly peeved because I barely slept, but even on the best day this wouldn't be a welcome noise.

Jacqueline got up early to do her Tuesday morning case conference with all the peds heart surgeons.

She's only going to do it two more times with the last on her birthday (6/27), and then she's retired!

She's only going to do it two more times with the last on her birthday (6/27), and then she's retired!

That's exciting!

Congrats on JZ retirement!

So, Dylan is going to be starting his first job in a few weeks, as CIT and then camp counselor at the sailing camp where he's been a camper for the last 7 years. I have been trying for MONTHS to get the camp owner to give me a straight answer about some basic financial questions like...do CITs get paid, or are they enrolled more like campers? (If it is a volunteer position, can he claim community service hours?) As a counselor I assume he will be paid...how much? What paperwork does he need to fill out and how far in advance?

It has been TOTAL radio silence since March, and the guy finally responded to me yesterday with "Dylan is all set" and then answering exactly one of my many many questions (what time should he show up the first day) and then signing off with "let me know if you have any more questions."

And I just...dude, obviously I have more questions. They are all in writing, in this very same email chain you are responding to at this very moment. I have ZERO confidence that repeating them now will result in my getting answers.

(Not asking for advice, this is just a vent. But GRRRRRRRRRRRR.)

Many grrrrrs for jackhammers and uncommunicative dudes.

Yay for retirement!! Jealous. I have to wait until next February.

Boo jackhammers.

Yay retirement.

And JuneBirthdays ! Mine is Friday, E is getting in Thursday and M and I will pick him up at the airport etc. It will be a nice birthday. Dad is coming up Thursday as well and I have Sunday off so we will have Father's Day together.

Heard from the lawyer about my worker's comp case. They counter offered with the max amount she thought she could get and quitting is non negotiable. There is no job for me and if I don't take the job then they will not increase my hours at all. I can wait for the neuro psych visit and keep working 12 hours a week and more than likely get a settlement for a lot less than this. Or take it now and negotiate the best I can with it.

Which is probably what I'll do. Unemployment isn't guaranteed at this point and I guess even if they do the termination/quitting so it's neutral there isn't a way to make sure they won't push back on an unemployment claim.

The lawyer pointed out --why would I want to work for a place that was negligent so I got hurt. And seeing the state of the stockrooms lately I don't think safety is ever going to be a top priority.

Also since I won't be able to work 40 hours the only way I will know how I do working full time hours is to get another job and once I settle I'll have relinquished my claim against the company so if working full time becomes an issue I don't know what I'll do.

There are a lot of things I'm not sure about but I'm going to get back with the lawyer on Monday.

Part of me is feeling like I made a huge mistake hiring a lawyer because if I hadn't I'd still have a job and the doctors haven't done anything. on the other hand I've had a lot of personal growth so there is that.

I don't know what I'll do about a job, obviously I'll need one but looking through Indeed....the options are slim (mostly--doesn't seem to pay enough, I wouldn't want that type of job/work there, and not qualified).

And part of me wants to get all -- I'm about to turn 50 and this is my life? how is my life no college degree, not sure I'll ever be able to retire and just generally like this-- but then I remember all the times I wasn't sure I'd be able to keep myself alive until now and how volatile my emotional and mental state has been for most of my life and I think this is a pretty good outcome for my life right now.

It's different, but I feel like I understand in some ways. Sorry that the money comes with, well, a mindfuck(and not the fun kind.) mine does, too.