Thanks everyone, I really appreciate it. My friend who is dog sitting lost her mom ten or so years ago and has been really good about checking in and saying good things.

Brother will be here in two hours or so, mom did manage to eat maybe a quarter cup of applesauce but is mostly gone from words to trying to groan yes/no. It suuuucks. (Also how do people in nursing homes move folks around?? It is hard as heck. Remind me to not volunteer to help any friends hide a dead body unless it’s someone tiny!)

I suspect nursing home care technicians sometimes employ the same technique needed to haul a dead body: not worrying about being careful with the weight they're moving.

When Dad was in the hospital I always tried to be on hand for the heavy lifting required to reposition him for changes and baths, because I knew his joint issues and how much force could be employed to a given limb before it caused him pain. His nurses and assistants were trying to be gentle, but familiarity with the individual patient counts for a lot.

How much do you need to move her around? Can hospice help at all with things like giving her sponge baths in bed or putting a commode in her bedroom? Or changing diapers, if that's a better option at this point?

(Feel free to ignore me, of course, if none of this is helpful. I'm just remembering how great the hospice people were for my mom when she reached the point of not being able to get out of bed, but not sure how similar your situation is.)

I'm glad your brother is arriving today. I'm thinking of you and wishing you all what comfort you can find in being together.

So sorry, Meara...that's awful. Definitely agree with Matt about lifting people.

Sending you and your family love, meara.

Thanks Kate! We have a commode but as of yesterday gave up on getting her to it and have diapers and pads for the bed. Hospice came before I got here Friday but mom apparently refused (and said they could come Monday, which ??). Sister and I were talking before she left to pick up brother about calling again today.

Timelies all!

I'm sorry, Meara.

Mr. S is here for an overnight visit. It's been interesting so far.

Oh meara, My heart aches for you.

Hospice came before I got here Friday but mom apparently refused (and said they could come Monday, which ??).

Hang in there.

I am so sorry, meara. Strength to you and yours.