I have such a high level of "right on" about this surgery for Tim and how it's going to make every damn thing so much better. I know it's a lot, and I am sure it's nerve wracking for you both, but especially since you 100% know from personal experience how good his people are... July (fingers crossed) can't get here soon enough.

I really want Tim's surgery to just go as smoothly as possible. Come on july!

So my Aunt W (the one on FL) fell at her assisted living place and broke her hip. She's having surgery , and she's already told Mom she doesn't think she'll come out of the hospital alive. I'm not that pessimistic but I'd be really surprised if Aunt W is alive next year. She's the oldest and her relationship with mom and the other siblings is fraught. And the way she's treated Mom since KY cousin's death has just totally destroyed what is left of their relationship. My uncle is flying down there (he's the youngest and has the best relationship with her) on Friday and will be there awhile. But mom will have to go back to Florida at some point.

I haven't seen my aunt in decades so im not sure how I feel.

Though 1 month seems a little fast to me; 2 months before he can go back to a desk job seems more reasonable. (He probably wants to get back to work after 1 month so he won't be tempted to stab me. I spend all day with me, and sometimes *I* want to stab me.)

From my personal experience with surgeries (of which I have now had three, not counting the one from when I was 5 that I barely remember), all of which have been simple and trivial compared to what Tim is facing, it's probably best to err on the side of the longer recovery estimates. Even if everything goes well, it's just such an energy drain.

Though I will also say that in most cases my surgeons were glad to hear that I could take longer than the minimum recommended recovery time. I get the sense that those shorter estimates are influenced by the knowledge that many patients don't have understanding employers, leave time banked and/or the ability to miss a paycheck without it causing an instant crisis, etc. (Insert standard grumbling about late-stage American capitalism here.)

On a completely unrelated note, does anyone have recommendations for good beach towns in Mexico, preferably on the Pacific coast, to spend a week in November in? We're looking for a place where we can get all the amenities and at least some of the luxuries, but not walled off in fancy resort isolation. So far we're considering Zihuatanejo, Todos Santos, and Sayulita.

Susan the Zona Romantica in PV is very nice, especially depending on the hotel/Airbnb you pick

"But a Persian Kitten! When can I ever get one again? This is once in a lifetime."

Nah. They’re not going to stop making them.

Surgeon Prime

This is giving me Optimus Prime vibes, and I’m here for it!

I hope your aunt has a better recovery than she’s expecting. And that she and your mom can mend fences, askye.

Thanks Calli. My aunt has actually been nicer to her on phone calls I've heard when I've visited mom. I've tried to gently reinforce that my aunt's attitude was better (stuff like wow Aunt W was really appreciative about ).

And I'm feeling kind of selfish...I had plans with Crafty Friend on Friday, she hadn't thought our schedules would align for a few weeks but she was free and I'm off. However I had to cancel. M's sister's FIL passed away earlier this week (he was really sick, much of it his own doing and had refused a lot of medical intervention and help) and the funeral is on Friday. I know that it's something I need to do and go to but I just really don't want to. I barely knew the man and what I did know about wasn't positive...he was mean to M's sister for one. So I'm struggling with feeling disappointed about canceling my plans on Friday and the dread about being around people for the funeral of an almost stranger who was a "mean l, hateful, racist old man" in M's words. But the funeral isn't for him it's his family and I have to keep reminding myself of that.

Re surgeries: I recovered much faster from surgery in my 30s than I did my last one (early 60s), so factor in age to recovery time. Everything seems to take longer to heal as we age.

In my experience that effect isn't limited to healing times.

the Zona Romantica in PV is very nice, especially depending on the hotel/Airbnb you pick

Thanks!

This week's stressor is that Matilda is completely breaking down at the end of the school year. She had a crying breakdown at school yesterday and sat with a teacher (skipping another class).

And she crawled into my lap and cried this morning and begged not to go to school. She's got finals next week so this is not optimal.

Also, a girl at her school stole Matilda's iPhone. She got it back but not before the girl pulled out the SIM card and flushed it down a toilet. You wouldn't think getting a new SIM card would be that complicated, but it's been fucky. Also, the girl didn't get expelled even though she stole three other phones that week. So she keeps giving Matilda the stink-eye in the hallway.