I feel dumb for going so very nuclear, but I didn't even know it was a trigger until now. Being at his deathbed was a life-defining event, and someone flat-out telling me I'm lying about it just caused the entire universe to white out. All I wanted was to cause her pain.

Anyhow, she's blocked now, so even if I do go back she can't get at me. I just don't get it. Buffista nurses are the best; how are so many other nurses managing to be the very worst?

some of the worst people I've ever met are women in the "helping professions".

Ugh. That's discouraging.

Well that sucks, JZ. Who comes at people about discussing their parents’ deaths? What a jerk.

I got the news today that my cat Leifur had kidney disease. He’s 17 and the likely prognosis is 2-3 years, which would kinda take him to the expected lifespan of a mostly indoor cat anyway, but it still has me a little down. He seems comfortable and interested in things for now, which is good to see.

In other news, I’m watching a Columbo episode and having the unusual experience of watching Leonard Nimoy being thoroughly villainous. That’s rather fun.

The lie that gets to me is when people, like, con their kids into explaining why taxes aren't fair, or some bollocks like that.(I mostly don't comment, though, but I could hurt my eyes when they roll like that.) I hope people don't full-on *lie* about deathbed things... things might *feel* some kind of way without the depiction being straight-up, textbook accurate, but I don't think that's a lie, exactly.(Not that you did, JZ, but every conversation is not a deposition, and that should be all right. Except Gus Straley sock-puppet shit...screw that) Yeah, disturbing fits...

I didn't even know it was a trigger until now

Of course it's a trigger. That person stepped on a land mine, and you exploded, completely justifiably. I'd wanna fuck them up too, and I'm sorry to say I've mostly gotten past feeling bad about it.

Why wouldn't it be?

Good lord, JZ, completely understandable reaction. Who the fuck says something like that person did except to be sadistically hurtful? Rage.

I would seriously harm this person if we were in the same room, and I don't like that about myself.

More than understandable. I've really been focusing on trying to let go of bitterness, anger, and all the awful emotions the last few years have brought. Still, I have to say, having sat bedside with each of my parents when they left this plane, it is hard to imagine a bigger trigger.

I'm sorry, JZ. I hope you find an excellent distraction to put that inhumanity behind you.

She explained that my "lie" was that they made me wear a hairnet when the current protocols say nothing about hairnets (but they did barely 3 weeks into the pandemic when nobody knew what to do) and a vinyl gown when vinyl is entirely the wrong kind of plastic, hence I am an attention-seeking liar, not that different from John Legend and his dumb wife sharing pictures of their creepy dead baby. Because as we all know, we currently live in an atmosphere of total openness about difficult and scary medical issues, and there's never any need to do what would ordinarily be oversharing because otherwise everyone shuts down and says nothing and feels even worse. Lucky for us we don't live in Shut-down-don't-talk-about-it-Land! That would suck, almost as much as liars suck!

I feel dumb for going so very nuclear

You should not. That seems like a very natural reaction to a very messed up provocation

Oh, JZ, I am so sorry that you have to deal with this type. My heart hurts for you.