[finds the Empress, sits nearby]

I think I'm going for more pomped mohawk this time around.

Yassss!

[finds the Empress, sits nearby]

[snuggles in and sighs]

So, bi-polar depression is a Thing. And it ain't good. Empty nesting has hit me way harder than I anticipated. So many feels. Like, all the feels. And them more feels. And then new feels and old feels and what the fuck feels. I am overwhelmed and sad. Work has been okay. Mostly a lot of faking it until making it. My sleep and eating are completely disordered, executive function is either on overwhelmed or it's on complete shutdown which leads to a nasty shame and self-hatred cycle. I'm starting to negative self-talk out loud in front of my kids.

I need a good, long, ugly cry. But I'm afraid to have one because what if it doesn't stop? I need a new therapist and possibly new or additional drugs. But those are now tricky to figure out with the new blood pressure meds and if they are recommended for people with a history of strokes. And I'm sure peri-menopause isn't helping.

And this JUST HAPPENS to be the quote in the corner ...

Mal: We're still flying. Simon: That's not much. Mal: It's enough.

Oh, darling. I know those feels. The last couple of years have been too much, and the person you were keeping your shit together for is off to have their own adventures. It's hard.

Who there could you go to and say "I need to lose it for a while, can you pet my hair/bring me chocolate/watch cat videos with me?"

Perimenopause is a bitch and a half: you might need to do some medication juggling, but if your PCP is decent, absolutely go to them and tell them what's happening.

All the love to you, babe. I promise it will get easier.

Ugh why am I awake at 330am? I’ve been awake for close to two hours. I have to get up at 6. I will probably fall back asleep at like 5 and be zonked.

That sucks, Aims. I hope you can get more effective meds, and a good, well bounded cry.

Spoiler: I did not fall back asleep and eventually gave up around 530. Ugh.

Aims! quick tacklehug and snuggle What they all said. I hope it passes soon. but in the meantime allow yourself some time to cry and wallow in it too. I look forward to seeing the new locks.

eta: sends an extra caffeine chocolate bomb to meara

cocktail with this and Chambord could be called “Berry McBearface”.

I would drink this (cheerfully, because of the name).

Ugh on both the migraine and the sleep struggle, meara. No good.

Hi, Aims! Very sorry for the struggling here, too, and wishes for a great new therapist and beneficially rejiggered meds to you.