JZ, I'm sorry your diagnosis isn't better. I am thinking of you and praying for you. I am glad your doctor is someone who made a point of reminding you that everyone responds differently.
When C was first diagnosed with Crohn's, he usually had infusions along with another patient at his original gastro's practice. It was a different person every time, but they were older and their outlook was often grim. C is a positive person. One woman insisted upon sharing her horror stories, until I finally said, "You need to stop. He does not need listen to this."
On the way home from that appointment, I told him to remember that his Crohn's is his own, and no one else's. All those other patients were diagnosed before the treatments that are common today were even in use. He shouldn't take their experiences, or even current statistics, as a meaningful prediction for himself.
So that's what I hope you'll remember: you are an individual. This is no one's diagnosis but yours, and no one will have the same experience that you have. No one else's journey can predict yours. No one's response to treatment will be the same as yours.
When I worked at Mass. General, one of the older buildings had a "Medical Arts Building" sign over an archway. I always try to remember that while medicine is science, it's art, too. Love you.
So that's what I hope you'll remember: you are an individual. This is no one's diagnosis but yours, and no one will have the same experience that you have. No one else's journey can predict yours. No one's response to treatment will be the same as yours.
When I worked at Mass. General, one of the older buildings had a "Medical Arts Building" sign over an archway. I always try to remember that while medicine is science, it's art, too. Love you.
Oh, this. How beautifully said, Cindy. And JZ, sending you hugs through the internets. I will be in SF in April and hope to be able to give you a big hug then if you're up for it.
ETA: Susan, just read Beep Me, and I wish you all the best. I, too, have heard from women that it's a life-changing operation in the best possible way.
Cindy is wise, JZ.
Fingers crossed all goes well with your surgery, Susan.
Cindy, that is wisdom and truth. Thank you for expressing it so beautifully.
Sending you all kinds of smooth surgery and recovery ~ma Susan.
Cindy, thank you. I’m scared shitless, though. I’ve lost ten pounds since the last time I checked. I can’t get more than a few sips or bites of anything down before feeling bloated. Nothing is appetizing. And tomorrow’s a holiday; I can’t even begin to get any forward momentum on referrals and appointments and second opinions until Tuesday.
JZ, I'm sorry. That all sucks so much. I know Covid and the holidays made everything difficult at hospitals, but this feels like such a long time between detection and taking care of the damned cancer. I would be scared, too. I don't know if they'll give you anti-anxiety meds on top of opioids, but don't be afraid to ask. Your fear is grounded in your diagnosis, but I'm all for not feeling fear.
How is Matilda?
I am so sorry JZ. I wish this was all easier . Anti anxiety medicine sounds like a good idea if it's possible.
I'm still kind of struggling with feeling very...I don't know....it makes me wonder if I actually do need to be on an anti depressant. I don't want to be because...I guess I'm stubborn. But I don't want to do much lately so I'm kind of...trying to figure things out. I don't like Jan and Feb as months go they just kind of end up being full of melancholy and feeling bad or sick.
Only good news I have is E is back on a swim team for his school district. When they first moved to VA the only swim team options were highly competitive outside of school and not want he wanted. But now that he's in 8th grade (!!l) he can be a part of the high school swim team...kind of. There are some meets he can't do but others he can. So he is on the young end of it and he's had 3 meets so far. The first he came in last place which I know disappointed him but then he got 2nd place and this weekend he got 3rd and 3nd to last. I don't know the details but I think he's enjoying it and it's only in the winter so less chance he will burn out on it.
I've been thinking about volunteering at the Recraft store i shop at all the time. I want to wait until my hours bump up at work so I can adjust to that but it's taking forever to get the doctors note to work. I think this week I'll stop by ask for more details.
Well, I have good news, kinda. We have another grandchild. Gabriel Garcia (my last name) was born last Tuesday. The kinda part is that my son just this afternoon bothered to text me and let me know. At least with a picture. I expect that someone that he talks to pressured him into letting his mother know. I asked him how the mother was doing, but no response. So, grateful to know he was born as we knew he was due a while ago, but a painful reminder of our estrangement, like I don't think about it every day.
