I had dinner with a really close friend who moved out of town about a year and a half ago, with two other close friends, and man, I wish she hadn’t moved. Such a bummer.
It is a huge fucking bummer and I'm more convinced than ever that people do not properly value PROXIMITY.
OMG, it makes everything possible. People act like friends moving away is not a death knell - BUT IT IS. Sure you have some contact, periodically, a few times a year. But it's not the same as seeing them several times a week.
People! Please, value proximity in all your life choices.
Similarly, people do not properly mourn the end of work friendships. These are people you see every day! And then suddenly, they are gone. Capitalism. But we're supposed to just act like that's normal and we're okay when our work bestie is disappeared.
OK, we'll, the wedding food sounds amazing, so that fulfills my vicarious dining pleasure needs, thank you.
David, re: work friends. Back when I was a baby working as a legal secretary, we had a foursome of me, the receptionist, the paralegal, and one of the attorneys. We were all roughly the same age. We were TIGHT, and had many traditions, hung out all the time, folded them into my larger friends group, etc.. One thing we did was to go out as a foursome for each other's birthdays for dinner.
We kept it up for years after we all moved on from the firm. Then, once I moved away, we all kind of drifted (proximity!) But stayed in loose touch.
When I moved back in 2018, we revived the birthday dinner tradition -- that first dinner was amazing! So much to catch up on, but it was like nothing had changed.
Hospital and pandemic put the kibosh on things for a while, but we started up again when we could. We just did my birthday dinner last week.
Anyway, I was commenting on how amazing it was that the band was still together these 30+ years later. Now the attorney is a SAHM and the other two are both attorneys, and they all have kids, so, many changes, but still the same core awesomeness in each.
Rambly post! Good morning!
Good morning, Jen.
Yeah, the proximity thing hits hard. So many people I valued in different places I lived, and too many I have no idea where they are and how they are living their lives. Some I find through FB, but some have very common names and it isn't really possible. Most I lost touch with during the growing a business and offspring years. I regret this, but can't turn back time.
With this move back to Ft Lauderdale in 11 days, I hope to renew some friendships and make new ones. I didn't want to move to Delray Beach, but life dumped me there and I stayed for 37 years. Now we are moving back to Ft Lauderdale, where our hearts have lived for much longer. Much of Brendon's family is there, and the friends he made in high school and when he played men's league basketball. It is a closer drive for me to my siblings. I hope to become more involved in life and meet new people in my new neighborhood. Also hope to have some visits from Buffistas at my new digs!
OMG, it makes everything possible. People act like friends moving away is not a death knell - BUT IT IS. Sure you have some contact, periodically, a few times a year. But it's not the same as seeing them several times a week.
An admittedly odd thing to say to one's internet gang of 20+ years...
The casual day-to-day contact of Facebook is one of the things I really treasure about it. The example I always give is my cousin interviewing for his dream job. "I got the interview!" "I'm going now!" "It went well, I think!" each of these was a conversation. Two more interviews, an offer, hired... my family is too damn big to call and yak with all of us. It would have been a five minute conversation at Christmas otherwise.
I have a pretty bright line about not friending colleagues until I leave. It has worked out well for me.
We just did my birthday dinner last week.
That's so cool, Jen!
Now we are moving back to Ft Lauderdale, where our hearts have lived for much longer.
I hope it brings lots of near friends and family.
An admittedly odd thing to say to one's internet gang of 20+ years...
Fair point! Though y'all started as friends-in-the-magic-box which has a different dynamic.
That said, it's not lost on me that Jon B. was once belly down on my living room floor playing the Powerpuff GIrls Game with 5 y.o. Emmett, and I just baby sat the AWB this summer. And I'm mindful that our new house looks at the back side of the hospital where I visited meara after she mangled her ankle. All entwined with Buffistae in the physical world.
OMG I do not want to work!
I want to shop and eat or shop while eating, or maybe sleep.
Wahhhh why do I have to work for a living?!?!
Epic, I'm sorry to hear that the IV chemo didn't have as much effect as was expected. I hope the radiation with adjuvant oral chemo works better.
Do whatever you need to do, to take care of yourself. Stay the course. The only way out is through.
Fingers crossed for you Epic.
It’s definitely much easier to stay in touch with/feel caught up with friends who do social media. It’s a lot easier to comment on a status than call out of the blue! Sadly I have multiple friends who are just not on any social media and in some cases are bad at texting (but great in person) so distance really does kill it. Which sucks. I get the social media part (though it’s unfortunate) but don’t understand friends who aren’t good at texting.
Positive thoughts your way Epic!
Now we are moving back to Ft Lauderdale,
Looking forward to it being even easier to see you when we are there!
