Oh no, Tep! I'm so sorry.

I’m consoling myself with a quick stop at McDonald’s for a nasty yet good Filet O Fish (I’m going to let the chips fall where they may re: the gluteny bun). I haven’t had one of these in at least 10 years. Probably won’t have one for another 10, but this one was satisfying.

Back on the road!

Gimmie that Filet O Fish!

Oh, Teppy! That is just awful. I'm sorry your get together ended so badly.

Jeez! I can't even imagine having to take on that much control at that age.

Yeah, he was covering their electric bills and took on all kinds of responsibility in his teens. All 4 of the kids are incredibly responsible. They had to be early on. DH was the eldest so he dealt with the most.

Me, just the opposite. Two great parents and great memories of family love and support. I was a total jerk to them, and felt like crap about it when I was old enough to realize how blessed my life was. Karma dealt me one for that, big time. Hoping it will pass.

Gimmie that Filet O Fish!

Loving fish as I do, and living where fresh fish is abundant, the Filet O Fish is a horror. Now it can be darn tasty, and I have consumed them, but I can't really think of it as fish. More like fish flavored block of fried stuff.

Gimmie that Filet O Fish!

I love that commercial, although this one is a close second: [link]

the Filet O Fish is a horror.

I mean, definitely. I love really good, fresh seafood, and that sandwich doesn’t meet any of those criteria. BUT:

Now it can be darn tasty

There’s that ^^^^^^

I’m home and going to take a Covid test and unpack and fall into bed. (If the test is negative, I’ll take one tomorrow; if that one is negative, I’ll take another one Monday. I’m fuzzy on how long the incubation period is for Omicron.)

for which serenity I thank my therapist, who put up with a lot of "Okay, so much of my childhood finally makes sense, and what the gargling fuck?!?" emails over the last couple of years.

My sister advised me not to discuss this family history with my kids, but I think I need to so they have a context and history to understand where they came from, and what to look out for.

Two great parents and great memories of family love and support. I was a total jerk to them, and felt like crap about it when I was old enough to realize how blessed my life was. Karma dealt me one for that, big time. Hoping it will pass.

Awww, I don't think it's Karma. And to be honest, I get a little grumpy with your boys putting you through the wringer.

Kinda want to get myself a Filet-o-fish, now.

Talked to my mom and we are calling off the family gathering that was planned for August, originally meant to celebrate my dad’s 80th birthday last September but rescheduled 2 or 3 times due to pandemic surges and this time we are just not even going to try to reschedule. Mom’s going to try to arrange for people to visit on a more individual basis and keep me informed so I can drop by for those if I can. A little easier to control everyone’s exposure that way, and way easier to work into everyone’s schedules. I may keep the vacation days, I could use the time off. And there was some event or other close to home that I was thinking I couldn’t go to because I’d be with my folks but maybe I can, if I can remember what it was…

There is so much I don't even really know about what shaped my parents. Partly because no one told me and partly because I haven't been up to hearing some of it. I know some and it's not something I really want to get into at this point but it includes... stuff like my Mom's paternal grandfather being Comanche and marrying a white woman , then dying when my grandfather and his siblings were teens and their mother not being a nice woman at all. My dad's paternal grandmother divorced my grandfather's dad when he was young (my grandfather was born in 1911 or so) and there was a lot of other stuff. The nicest thing I've ever heard about either of them was that my dad's paternal grandmother was a good cook. Other issues include: Mom's grandfather actually killed himself, I don't know why. There is also alcoholism and other addiction issues in the mix for that generation and my grandparents generation. Definitely emotional and psychological abuse, possibly physical and sexual abuse. And things like, I didn't know until I was an adult but me and my other girl cousin were never allowed alone with my paternal grandfather... Also mental health issues on both sides of the family that are just guesses for my grandparents generation and older. But my dad's siblings all have anxiety, depression, insomnia, etc. Addiction runs on both sides of the family, other mental illnesses do as well. I'm not sure about Mom's but I know they have issues even if they weren't diagnosed. And that's not getting into my cousins or their cousins.

At one point I was explaining some milder stuff to..not my current therapist but another one and he was like "you never had a chance did you?" . I think my current therapist was more positive about things, like my resilience and stuff like that.