condolences to David and SJ and hugs to Amy. I hope the meds do right by you soon.

I think I am done with grading? At least I have turned them in? The grading continues in my head, meanwhile. And now I have to do all the writing. Or a nap.

You're allowed, Scola.

I'm not doinganything Christmasy but I haven't for many years. However, I have only recently come to the realization that I am in general not really okay. It was hard to admit to myself (and I have yet to figure out anything to do about it) because all the particular things that have made this year so hard for everyone have been relatively easy for me - I don't mind being alone, I still have a job and a paycheck, I haven't been physically suffering, so I should be ok. But I'm not.

Not looking for hairpats or advice, just want to let everyone else who maybe isn't ok and is having a hard time with that fact for similar reasons that we are allowed to be not ok.

Pix I am sorry things are so hard and there are no good or easy answers.

Amy, sorry for sick and the loss of work.

Tom, be kind to yourself. How old are the nieces and nephews now? teen-ish?

Teens and twenties.

It's not very exciting, but would they just want cash or gift cards? That can be done electronically which, again, not exciting, but it would be done.

Christmas hasn't had any religious significance for my family for years and years - Mom sent me to Sunday school when I was little but we've all been lapsed for years and years - but putting up the tree and giving presents has been a part of the season all my life. (Mom is fond of reminding people we bought our current tree 45 years ago at Canadian Tire because I was severely asthmatic and allergic to pine.)

Me and my folks are both isolating as much as we can, so we figure it's safe for me to drive down(no stops!). I did it for T-day and nobody got sick, so we're doing it for Xmas too. (Once my sister converted and moved to Denver, we just put Hanukkah presents in the mail.) But it's still going to be an odd, quiet, closed-in holiday.

Thanks for posting that, -t. It's been a long time since I felt really okay.

all the particular things that have made this year so hard for everyone have been relatively easy for me - I don't mind being alone, I still have a job and a paycheck, I haven't been physically suffering, so I should be ok. But I'm not.

Thanks for saying that, -t. And same.

I haven't been going anywhere since the numbers started spiking here, and when I finally went to the grocery store yesterday, I nearly had a panic attack because people were not respecting even one foot of distance let alone six. I spent yesterday a miserable ball of anxiety, fretting over the gifts I ordered for my nieces for Christmas (I ordered them all the same thing, but got a shipping notification for one item, not three), feeling bad about the weight I've put on, and generally failing to be kind to myself.

But I did talk myself down a bit, because I have no control over when packages will arrive. The birthday presents I sent my nieces all arrived late, so it will be disappointing but fine. I have 10 days off in a row to try and get some actual rest and relaxation in, which I think is the longest stretch of time off I've had since I went to Iceland with Lee and Aurelia. Uh. 15 months ago.

I'm sensing why I might not be doing so hot, and it might partly be to do with the nag emails I've been getting from HR about being dangerously close to the limit of vacation day accrual.

{{{alla y'all}}}

I made it to my meeting! Woohoo!

When everything else is so noisy, it's hard to hear what's going on in your head.