Thanks for posting that, -t. It's been a long time since I felt really okay.

all the particular things that have made this year so hard for everyone have been relatively easy for me - I don't mind being alone, I still have a job and a paycheck, I haven't been physically suffering, so I should be ok. But I'm not.

Thanks for saying that, -t. And same.

I haven't been going anywhere since the numbers started spiking here, and when I finally went to the grocery store yesterday, I nearly had a panic attack because people were not respecting even one foot of distance let alone six. I spent yesterday a miserable ball of anxiety, fretting over the gifts I ordered for my nieces for Christmas (I ordered them all the same thing, but got a shipping notification for one item, not three), feeling bad about the weight I've put on, and generally failing to be kind to myself.

But I did talk myself down a bit, because I have no control over when packages will arrive. The birthday presents I sent my nieces all arrived late, so it will be disappointing but fine. I have 10 days off in a row to try and get some actual rest and relaxation in, which I think is the longest stretch of time off I've had since I went to Iceland with Lee and Aurelia. Uh. 15 months ago.

I'm sensing why I might not be doing so hot, and it might partly be to do with the nag emails I've been getting from HR about being dangerously close to the limit of vacation day accrual.

{{{alla y'all}}}

I made it to my meeting! Woohoo!

When everything else is so noisy, it's hard to hear what's going on in your head.

Oh a bright spot. Work just gave us all off for Christmas Eve.

{{hugs}} to everyone who needs them. This fucking year.

I'm mostly doing okay, but I am worried about a lot of people, both those I know and those I don't. The fuckers in the Senate apparently want people to be evicted after Jan 1, and they are this close to shutting down the government again.

We had our first covid case in the office last week, and it turns out the guy was there the same day I was. But I never saw him, never spoke to him, and it's been ten days. So I guess I'm fine?

I will say that I don't know how single people without pets are able to get through this year. The Boss has been a life-saver, although she does bark far too much.

I am feeling very "need to do things for other (aka get outta your own head)" so if anyone on here is in need of an online shopper assistant LET ME KNOW. Ideally I would be able to find local merchants in whatever town the gift is needed that could 1) deliver, 2) hold for pick-up , or 3) mail (local has to be better than cross country).

This need not be Holiday related - you need something - you want something.

when I finally went to the grocery store yesterday, I nearly had a panic attack because people were not respecting even one foot of distance let alone six.

I got really twitchy about how many people were in the waiting room when I went to get my physical this morning. (Honestly, everyone was spaced 6 feet apart or more, but it just felt like a lot of people. Plus, doctor's offices are where sick people go! One dude was talking to the receptionist about how he had Covid in November, all casual-like.)

feeling bad about the weight I've put on

See above, re: physical. But Awesome Doctor didn't say a word about it, so that was nice. The only criticism about my quarantine 15 is in my own head.

I'm glad you're getting Christmas Eve off, msbelle!

I'm up, showered, and dressed. I've eaten tacos for lunch. I've got a hunk of beef in the slow cooker. Laundry's going. I'm going to sit on my couch and drink a giant mug of tea while playing Animal Crossing.

going to sit on my couch and drink a giant mug of tea while playing Animal Crossing.

That sounds lovely. I am trying to watch the Mandalorian finale, although it's hard because my living room is pretty sunny and the show is very dark...