Yeesh, you guys, aging parents are stressful. At some point this week, Tim's dad should be moved from the rehab center to the long-term nursing care wing of his assisted living community. So he won't be in the super-swanky part any more, but the buildings are attached, which means his buddies can visit him, which will hopefully be good for his state of mind. And it will be a familiar setting for him, which should also be good for his state of mind.
His doctors have said that a significant amount of his physical decline is, basically, because he stopped getting any physical activity like 6 years ago. Including (pre-assisted living) not going to the grocery store *with* Tim and just staying home and letting Tim go for him, so he didn't even walk around Kroger once a week.
And while I'm not too fussed about turning 50 this year, seeing Tim's dad's physical decline has really hit home about how important it is to stay active (in whatever capacity a person is able to, of course), because it's not a magic wand that wards off everything, but it sure helps. It's motivated me to stay active.*
My own train wreck of a dad is still having hallucinations -- he apparently called my brother last week and recounted a long, vivid hallucination to him (I don't know what it involved, because I didn't ask). My brother called the geriatrician's nurse practitioner about it, and she just called and left a message for me, because I'm the only family member she's authorized to talk to. Honestly, I took a big step away from this entire thing with my dad and his hallucinations in September, because he thought it was appropriate to share something with me that was very genuinely triggering (in the clinical sense of the word) and disturbing. And that's why my brother took over, but I guess my dad has to give the geriatrician's office permission to share information with my brother. So I have to fucking deal with it right now, which is not what I was expecting.
*(Re: me, staying active -- I still don't have the cardio endurance I had before Covid. And when I say "cardio," I mean brisk walking. I'm at maybe 2/3 the capacity I was before. My therapist gave me some grief about not seeing Awesome Doctor about that, but seriously, there's nothing he can do except make a note in my chart. If this is part of long Covid, there's no magic wand to make it go away. Literally the best we've got for long Covid is "Well, give it some time." So I'm walking as much as I can, and trying not to beat myself up for my reduced capacity.)
Timelies all!
Regarding aging parents, the new rehab center my mom is in seems to be helping with getting strength back in her legs. It's still play it by ear as to when they'll get down to Florida. My dad visits her every day. He's still pretty lonely as far as I can tell.
It is good to hear that she is progressing, Sheryl. I'm sure your dad is lost without her company.
Teppy, I had the same type of epiphany a number of years ago when my mom in her 90s insisted in no uncertain terms that my elder years would be a whole lot easier if I got my health act together earlier. Do I wish I started a decade ago, indeed, but better late than never!
Teppy, I had the same type of epiphany a number of years ago when my mom in her 90s insisted in no uncertain terms that my elder years would be a whole lot easier if I got my health act together earlier.
I mean, my mom at 75 is fucking RIDICULOUS. She's off-the-chart healthy/active/strong/flexible for her age. I mean, I know for goddamn sure I don't have the flexibility she does, because she's been a dedicated yogi for maybe 20 years now. And she and my stepdad still go camping/hiking on the regular, and their hikes are not little bitty hikes on flat ground. The only difference between now and when they first got together 30 years ago is that if Mom camps overnight, she wants to be in a facility or camper that has a bathroom right there, because she has decided that 75 is too goddamn old to be traipsing across a pitch-dark campground at 3 a.m. to use the bathroom (or a tree). And I can't argue with her, because that's why we rented a camper in August. The bathroom factor is extremely compelling.
My age limit for traipsing across the campground to use the bathroom in the middle of the night was a whole lot younger than your mom's. Still love camping, but the comfort requirements have changed over the years.
Teppy, I had the same type of epiphany a number of years ago when my mom in her 90s insisted in no uncertain terms that my elder years would be a whole lot easier if I got my health act together earlier.
My sciatica experience was the same wake up call. And now I run the steps five days a week regularly. Or until my knees give out. Thinking about exploring Pilates now, which seems easier on joints.
My age limit for traipsing across the campground to use the bathroom in the middle of the night was a whole lot younger than your mom's.
Right? Although I would have been okay with renting a camper van that doesn't have a bathroom and is just tricked out with a comfy sleeping arrangement; if I *had* to traipse across the campground to pee, I would have. But basically, we can't tent camp any more because we are both too rickety. (Also, tent camping sucks and always has.) But when we found that the best rental price was an actual small Winnebago with bathroom and fridge, then hell yeah we rented it, and it was a delight.
(I can already forsee our own retirement years, and they're going to involve a camper. But that's cool by me.)
I empathize and sympathize with the aging parent issues. It's not easy. And same re: recognizing the importance of trying to stay active -- my mom suffered a lot of mobility loss because of her essentially sedentary lifestyle, so I'm trying to learn from that. Hell if she didn't keep, like, 95% of her mental faculties though. Seriously fucking impressive and, I hope, a good sign for me in that regard.
Definitely no al fresco bathroomimg or traipsing for this gal anymore. Nope.
I say that like I used to do it a lot. I did not. Don't think I've ever slept overnight in a tent, and I know I've only had to use an outhouse once e in my life. I'm OK with that.
