That sounds like the sort of thing email and other non-realtime methods of notification are made for, Steph!
My dad is the stereotypical 80-year-old who can't use a computer. And he does have a cellphone -- it's a flip phone, but those still do text and voicemail. But he has never been able to even learn how to check voicemail on his cell phone, and texting is not in his wheelhouse.
It's okay to take care of yourself, Tep, even if it isn't an anxiety issue, you don't have to listen to the litany, and it's okay if you change the conversation.
It's not anxiety on my part; it's that it's fucking hurtful that he's so rude he can't even say "I'm sorry to hear that." I'm really not joking when I say the conversation goes like this:
Dad: "How are you?"
Me: "You know how I'm super clumsy? I sprained my ankle building a snowman, which I bet no one has ever done before, and I can't believe how much it hurts!"
Dad, with absolutely no pause and no transition: [Something about his shoulder surgery from 6 years prior.]
Me: "Um...did you hear what I said to you, that I hurt my ankle today?"
Dad: "Yeah, why?"
Me: "I though you might say 'That sucks; I'm sorry to hear that,' since, you know, I'm YOUR KID, and that should matter to you."
Dad, who laughs first, and notably does NOT say 'I'm sorry to hear that': "Yeah, okay. Anyway, [back into the shoulder surgery story]"
Me: "Are you kidding me? I tell you I injured myself and you can't even offer any sympathy?"
Dad: "Where's the sympathy for ME?"
Me: "...for an outpatient surgery you had SIX YEARS AGO? What are you talking about?!?"
Fuck that shit. The only way to manage is to not give him a conversational opening, so my brother and I don't tell him anything remotely related to our health or the health of anyone, ever. It doesn't stop him from unleashing the droning litany of shit we already know by heart, but at least it's less overtly hurtful because we didn't give him an opportunity to exert a little compassion that he failed at spectacularly.
That really sucks Teppy. I'm sorry you have to go through that.
I haven't seen Tom Scola posting here in a couple of weeks. Have people seen him around on FB or the like?
He's had some really nice photographs posted in the last few days so he may be focused on that again.
Ahhhhh I finally got into my ERP. After 3 weeks and a couple of days.
I can imagine the level of frustration after that length of time. Yikes.
I spoke too soon, the sliding door fell out of its mounting with a resounding crash and shattered both mirrors over my bed frame this afternoon.
Oh no! Sounds like it could have been worse?
I'm sorry, Teppy! Yes, I also send a high five as your therapist is quite correct. No reason you need to discuss this until you are ready. How is Tim doing with his father's grave turn?
How is Tim doing with his father's grave turn?
He's just kind of dealing with it day by day.
The only way to manage is to not give him a conversational opening, so my brother and I don't tell him anything remotely related to our health or the health of anyone, ever. It doesn't stop him from unleashing the droning litany of shit we already know by heart, but at least it's less overtly hurtful because we didn't give him an opportunity to exert a little compassion that he failed at spectacularly.
Gotcha. Yeah, I think that's the only way to deal with that. I'm sorry. That is hurtful.
He's had some really nice photographs posted in the last few days so he may be focused on that again.
Tom takes beautiful photos.
I think Tom Scola fandom is a legitimate part of the Buffista experience.
This is a true statement
Your dad is a piece of work, Tep, and however you can manage to deal with him has my support. Up to and including not dealing with him.
I was dreaming about rewatching X-files. I need to rethink my life.
A man who will drive himself to the hospital with a heart attack but doesn't give up on past health issues ... he embraces his contradictions. (although a while ago I heard a news report about a man who was having a heart attack and, not having a car, stole an ambulance to get to the hospital)
Stole an ambulance? He couldn’t just flag it down or something? Yikes.
It is 7:18am. I need to do a little work and i want to leave town by 1pm. I have packed for this six week road trip not at all. Um.
Dag, Steph, I would avoid talking to your father about anything at all. Sorry.
Where are you going for six weeks, meara??
