My friend Maria always laughs about how teaching second graders and college students is SO similar. I used to have a big sign in the costume shop “Ask Three Before Me”, which was basically did you ask your brain, did you ask google, did you ask a coworker? But I still miss my students...

Also, thanks so much Shir!

Thank you so, so, so much, Shir and Nilly! It was beyond good to see and hear everyone. We should, must and shall do it again, and I think Matilda will be very much up to tackling a makeup tutorial or three.

(She just came in from pottering around on Haight Street, and she has scored an absolutely gorgeous Spike-like leather jacket. My little thrifter! I'm almost as proud of that as of her reading lexile.)

And thanks to everyone from the previous thread for being so nice about my kvetching and bellyaching about my exhausting coworker. One of the loveliest things about mostly working from home is that 37 out of 40 working hours a week I get to just buckle down and do my own job and solve my own problems without having to manage anyone else's helplessness. Okay, the surgeons are often helpless, but at least (a) they're usually in the OR and the amount of time they can flail at me is strictly limited, (b) unlike the helpless coworkers, they are literally the bosses of me and my entire job is to do piddly shit for them, and (c) as my manager often points out, they're really really good at fixing tiny babies' hearts, which if you're only going to be really really good at one professional task is a pretty amazing one to be good at.

Thanksgiving will be Hec, Matilda, Emmett, me, and a whole bunch of family via Zoom (except my aunt, who was warned that we would definitely be discussing politics, correctly interpreted that as "gloating over the imminent expulsion of the Mad King," and has chosen to absent herself). But it's gnawing at me more and more that last Thanksgiving was the last. Last with my dad and extended family under one roof, last under that roof, deeply last in that my dad, the roof, the room, the kitchen and all have utterly vanished from this world. Not really something anyone can rationally deal with, so I'm very much not.

JZ, I'm sorry. That hurts and it sucks.

It's been 17.5+ years, I still have a hard time from Thanksgiving, to Christmas, and through the February anniversary of my dad's death, and our March birthdays. For me, the first year's worth of special days were the hardest to mark. After each one, I made a point to tell myself, "I did it."

That didn't mean I did it without grief, or with much (any?) rational dealing, just that I got through the day. In other words, no "did it" points are deducted for tears, sorrow, or even irritation, resentment, and anger. They're also not deducted for the moments you enjoy.

Much love to you and your family.

Thanks again to Shir and Nilly for organizing the zoom get-together! Seeing everyone's smiling faces, even for the short time I was able to attend, was a balm to my soul.

For some reason I'd been thinking the day was completely unproductive. But looking back, today I:

• cooked myself a hot breakfast
• fed indoor and outdoor cats
• went to the drugstore for prescriptions and a get-well card for my aunt
• drove to the vet for cat food
• picked up groceries
• drove across town for street tacos and tamales
• visited my mom and solidified Thanksgiving plans
• gave her my spare container of chicken stock
• dropped off recycling
• washed a load of laundry
• washed dishes
• cleaned countertops
• watered plants
• (briefly) attended the online memorial, and
• cooked myself dinner, including using the oven to bake spanakopita

Not too shabby considering I also snuck in an afternoon nap.

That's quite a lot, Matt!

Volans, all the kitty~ma.

{{JZ}}

And thank you, all. It's been lovely. We'll arrange another Zoom thingy around Christmas/Hanukkah, with as many offsprings as timezones will allow.

Thanks Shir and Nilly! Sorry I couldn't stick around for long.

I’m sorry I didn’t see the zoom event until just before it happened. But there was a big zoom event today to raise money for the local people n need. The 11th year. Looks like we did better than usual.

Thanksgiving may have been just us anyway. ( I am the one that has the most exposure because of work). However the library was going to open, but then we moved back. We were not ready to open and even as they tried to say we were opening the staff knew the numbers were going up , but our admin didn’t. So yay! No more exposure to strangers ( I am reasonably sure of the staff because there has only been one person that has had COVID and we know where it came from) but boooo! For higher numbers.

I wasn't able to do the Zoom because of work but I was thinking about all of you.

I haven't had a lot of big family Thanksgiving in a long time. But except for when I was in Vermont I've been able to see my parents on Thanksgiving.

I have a dental appointment on Tuesday up in NC and I will see mom then.

M and his mom are still planning on going to his brother's tomorrow for Sunday dinner and Thursday for Thanksgiving. They don't know how many people will be there and I haven't been asking how many people have been at the Sunday dinners but I know it's going to be more than 10.

I've asked again for them not to go but they are. I won't go . M and his mom both know the risks , they read the news, but they don't want to stop going. I know M's brother and SiL don't believe covid is a big deal and I also know they have made M's mom feel so guilty for saying she wouldn't come that she is going

I've heard her on the phone saying "I'm 65 years old, I smoke, that's high risk. It could kill me" and then I guess they tell her she is over reacting.

They also go over to his sister's and she also doesn't believe it's a big deal "and if I die then I die but I'm not going to stop seeing my momma or living my life ".

I am honestly surprised we don't have an outbreak at work and I keep expecting it. Especially as we get busier.

It really was lovely to see so many of you yesterday, some for the first time ever, others for the first time in years. (After a think, I'm pretty sure the last time I saw some Buffistas in the flesh was when Mr. Fiona and I met up with Trudy and Tom in NYC in early October 2001, when I was pregnant with B., i.e. the "baby" who is now a full-grown adult person). Let's do it again soon!

Am I alone in wanting to know how Jesse's Rum Babas went...? Particularly as the current season of GBBO did Babas last week.