Toddson that sounds annoying but at least it’s a “nope sorry bye!” answer??

Also that dorm sounds monstrous and I agree it can’t possibly meet fire codes! Most of the rooms won’t have windows!!

Jesse it sounds kinda nice to be back in the office! I am finding motivation a problem (as per usual) but know there’s some stuff coming up I need to work on….hopefully people will send me the answers/updates I need and that will create urgency or momentum!

Welcome to Monday the November-eth. It's gray and rainy here as the calendar dictates.

But I don't mind because I did my run early, walked to the Asian market, picked up beaucoup greens and oyster mushrooms to make a frittata and my oven is working.

So, in Adventures in Parenting A Teen, Matilda went to TWO Halloween parties this weekend (and no trick or treating): one on Saturday night, and one on Sunday night. Her best friend Mia came up from San Bruno (just south of SF) and did both parties and they dressed up Steampunk for Sunday, and Bunnies for Saturday.

The weird-ish thing was that both of these parties were organized/thrown by teens (with presumably some parental input on reserving spaces) in city parks, in the evening. Saturday was at Glenn Park from 6:30 to 9:30. (You may vaguely remember pictures I posted of a summer camp Matilda went to in the City where it looked exactly like The Shire. That's Glenn Park). I knew her friend Iris was going too and a bunch of her friends from Middle School that she hasn't seen since 8th grade. Matilda's new friend Carlin (at her HS) also went on Saturday.

That one went off without a hitch, except they changed the pickup spot to a nearby Safeway, and I was able to sit there in my car watching a biggish gaggle of 15's interact in costume.

Sunday's party turned out to be a little dicier, but ultimately okay. It was thrown by Matilda's friend Savannah (who she worked with this summer, and who also threw a beach bash the weekend before school started). Now, I know Savannah's mom works for Parks and Rec, so I wasn't thrown too much that it was in GG Park on Strawberry Hill (the island surrounded by Stow Lake, where I used to take Emmett pedal-boating).

But it was from 7 to 9:30, and when I got to the boathouse by the lake, it was very dark. I had presumed there would be a way lit with some - IDK, LED solar powered torches or something? - across the bridge and up the hill to the top of Strawberry Hill where the party was. So Matilda and Mia waited by the Boathouse (which had lights) for her friend Vanessa to show up so they could all walk up together. I was able to walk around and figure out the route up to the party and did see other teens in costume tramping up the hill using their phones as flashlights.

At that point I didn't feel so great about leaving three 15 y.o. girls alone in a very dark park with many trees and bushes and an unlighted path to a party. BUT, Matilda has been very responsible so far with these things, and stayed in touch with me. And it was only a 7 minute drive from our apartment. And I had seen the other teens heading up. And I knew Savannah a bit and that she must have organized it through her mom. I wouldn't have agreed to it if I knew it was going to be so dark and unstructured, but it would be a huge stinking disappointment if I called it off then and Matilda had been very responsible to date.

But I felt anxious about it. Fortunately Matilda called me by 7:30 to say that Vanessa had arrived and they had made their way up the hill and found the party. So that meant I only had to anxiously pace in circles for two hours doing lots of little chores before I picked them up.

I called her at 9, everything was fine. She had put an alarm on her phone to remind her to go back down at 9:15 to the Boathouse. I got there at 9:26 and she and Mia showed up two minutes later. And it was fine, and they had a great time. And, they got to "level up" socially since Savannah had invited them to a party of mostly Juniors. They did not drink anything, they didn't smoke anything, nobody pulled them into the bushes. They just got to do a cool, free, exciting thing among peers outside at night.

tl;dr: I trusted Matilda and it worked. But I also told her in future I probably wouldn't allow her to go to an event that unstructured and at dark in the woods/park.

Anyway, both she and Mia had a great time in both instances and got to socialize with a lot of people and Matilda got to reconnect with a bunch of her Middle School friends.

I'm glad it all worked out and Matilda has such a good weekend, but I imagine a few extra grey hairs were achieved!

I'm glad it all worked out and Matilda has such a good weekend, but I imagine a few extra grey hairs were achieved!

I know that teenage Laura went off on plenty of adventures that would've given me a heartattack.

It was a bit of a parenting trust-fall (not fail!), and honestly I should have vetted it better. Also, I know that going forward these parties will eventually include drinking and drugs and making out and drama, so it's not like this is the end of worrying.

But I also remember the freedom and latitude I had at 15 and 16. My friends and I rode our bicycles to Midnight movies when we were 15, and rode home at 2am. And Matilda is much more responsible and sensible than I was at that age and with cell-phones it just makes it a lot easier to stay on top of things.

One of the trickiest things to learn in parenting is how much slack you give on the leash as they start to stretch out.

Glad to hear Matilda had a good time ... and it sounds like she's using her freedom responsibly (or as responsibly as a teenager can). And at least with a cell phone she can call for help when needed.

Huh, I thought I had missed Open Enrollment but it's apparently coming soon. They are excited to tell us about our 2022 benefits which sounds to me like more change, yay

Timelies all!

Well, it’s been a shitty day. Started out with the usual shenanigans of Mr. S such that I got out of the house later than I wanted. Then I rear-ended a much larger car in the parking garage at work. Left work early to pick up Mr. S at school.(the nanny has doctor’s appointments around the time school let out) Then as I was driving to the school, steam and smoke started coming out from under the hood. Got to the school and called AAA. (I had already talked to the body shop I was going to take the car to, I just had to tell them the car would be getting there today, not tomorrow morning.) When the tow truck got there, the guy said they couldn’t take kids under 10, so I had to get a taxi home. By the time we got home it was too late to give Mr. S his booster dose of Adderall.

I have put a claim into my insurance, and have reserved a rental car, so things are in progress.

oh sheryl that is a no good very bad day.

I got in to my Dr. today to look at the itchy welts. They remain a mystery, but she ruled out shingles and excema, and poison oak or ivy. Best guess is an allergic reaction to food or topical that I have not previously reacted to or previously had contact with - and/or stress.

I got a script for topical steroid and will stay on my regular allergy med as well as taking benedryl until it passes. If it is not getting better in 3-4 days I will get an oral steroid and if that does not work then I will go to an allergist for sticky sticky stabby tests.

I hope the immediate remedies work for you, msbelle, and make you less--or no!--itchy. Sheryl, that was a not-good day, and I hope things get better from here. (Para break) Spilled tea on laptop, some keys nonfunctional. Limping along, but a new machine is inevitable. I'm about to try copying links for my ohmygodlong open tabs, with luck the links and not just the urls will copy. Tomorrow I get to scramble in several cubbyholes all over the house to retrieve passwords for everydamnwhere so I can get back into my sites all over the 'net. (break. one of the keys is the enter key, no para breaks) Tea in my lap, on my pants on the chair cushion slipcover, the cushion, the inside chair arms, my socks, the floor. Alarm, calamity, woe, assess damage. Everything is/was in the wash, except the laptop. (break) New machine tomorrow, OH will clone this one and should be A-ok, except for tabs. I know I should shed some anyway, I keep reading through them, but also keep picking up new ones. And when I want something to read, it's never anything that's in my tabs. FML, right? So I'll be more scant than usual. No real alarm. Back soon. Oh, also? Using the enter key for the ten-key leaves a zero after the period, so that's fun. Heh.