This is the week of our annual conference and I'm the only one actually in the office, which means that I'm getting the calls from people who have issues ... and I have no answers for them. I can only advise that they contact the people who do have the answers by email ... which isn't what they want to hear. Also, someone's handing out our main phone number as the number for a hotel, so I'm also fielding calls from people who want rooms, food, other hotel services ... and want me to transfer them to the hotel line that would handle it. That's not happening, needless to say.

In other news, has anyone else heard about the proposed dorm for UCSB? it was sort of designed by a billionaire who's kind of an amateur architect. It's supposed to house something like 4,500 students in an 11-story building. They'd be in tiny cubicles with no windows; the design's supposed to encourage them to spend more time in the communal areas. Also - two bathrooms for each "suite" of eight cubes. Here's a video about it. I suspect it can't be built as currently designed - the huge building has two entrance/exit doorways ... which has to violate fire codes every which way.

Are you able to do much of anything?

Nope! Even the things I was planning on doing today, my customer cut off my access to their site so I can't (presumably because our company is a security risk although the horses have been in and out of the barn all last week, shutting the door now seems silly)

But hopefully not your trouble.

Fingers crossed! It just occurred to me this morning that it would be not out of character for mgmt to decide this requires layoffs, hopefully that is just me being super pessimistic

Ooh, clearing out paper files sounds kinda nice! That's something I could do today if I was in the office, but we have been asked to not go into the office because it doesn't have wifi...

Ugh, Toddson, that doesn't sound fun at all (your fielding all those phone calls, I mean, although the horrible building also doesn't sound fun)

Also, someone's handing out our main phone number as the number for a hotel, so I'm also fielding calls from people who want rooms, food, other hotel services ... and want me to transfer them to the hotel line that would handle it. That's not happening, needless to say.

Surely you can just transfer the call? No?? (Sorry!)

The UCSB thing is funny to me because I have a former coworker who really wanted that guy to give for housing at our institution. Good thing he didn't!

Bullet dodged, Jesse! The UCSB thing is funny to me because my sister went there for a year and she hated her dorm so much for being already on the road to where that building seems to end up

Toddson that sounds annoying but at least it’s a “nope sorry bye!” answer??

Also that dorm sounds monstrous and I agree it can’t possibly meet fire codes! Most of the rooms won’t have windows!!

Jesse it sounds kinda nice to be back in the office! I am finding motivation a problem (as per usual) but know there’s some stuff coming up I need to work on….hopefully people will send me the answers/updates I need and that will create urgency or momentum!

Welcome to Monday the November-eth. It's gray and rainy here as the calendar dictates.

But I don't mind because I did my run early, walked to the Asian market, picked up beaucoup greens and oyster mushrooms to make a frittata and my oven is working.

So, in Adventures in Parenting A Teen, Matilda went to TWO Halloween parties this weekend (and no trick or treating): one on Saturday night, and one on Sunday night. Her best friend Mia came up from San Bruno (just south of SF) and did both parties and they dressed up Steampunk for Sunday, and Bunnies for Saturday.

The weird-ish thing was that both of these parties were organized/thrown by teens (with presumably some parental input on reserving spaces) in city parks, in the evening. Saturday was at Glenn Park from 6:30 to 9:30. (You may vaguely remember pictures I posted of a summer camp Matilda went to in the City where it looked exactly like The Shire. That's Glenn Park). I knew her friend Iris was going too and a bunch of her friends from Middle School that she hasn't seen since 8th grade. Matilda's new friend Carlin (at her HS) also went on Saturday.

That one went off without a hitch, except they changed the pickup spot to a nearby Safeway, and I was able to sit there in my car watching a biggish gaggle of 15's interact in costume.

Sunday's party turned out to be a little dicier, but ultimately okay. It was thrown by Matilda's friend Savannah (who she worked with this summer, and who also threw a beach bash the weekend before school started). Now, I know Savannah's mom works for Parks and Rec, so I wasn't thrown too much that it was in GG Park on Strawberry Hill (the island surrounded by Stow Lake, where I used to take Emmett pedal-boating).

But it was from 7 to 9:30, and when I got to the boathouse by the lake, it was very dark. I had presumed there would be a way lit with some - IDK, LED solar powered torches or something? - across the bridge and up the hill to the top of Strawberry Hill where the party was. So Matilda and Mia waited by the Boathouse (which had lights) for her friend Vanessa to show up so they could all walk up together. I was able to walk around and figure out the route up to the party and did see other teens in costume tramping up the hill using their phones as flashlights.

At that point I didn't feel so great about leaving three 15 y.o. girls alone in a very dark park with many trees and bushes and an unlighted path to a party. BUT, Matilda has been very responsible so far with these things, and stayed in touch with me. And it was only a 7 minute drive from our apartment. And I had seen the other teens heading up. And I knew Savannah a bit and that she must have organized it through her mom. I wouldn't have agreed to it if I knew it was going to be so dark and unstructured, but it would be a huge stinking disappointment if I called it off then and Matilda had been very responsible to date.

But I felt anxious about it. Fortunately Matilda called me by 7:30 to say that Vanessa had arrived and they had made their way up the hill and found the party. So that meant I only had to anxiously pace in circles for two hours doing lots of little chores before I picked them up.

I called her at 9, everything was fine. She had put an alarm on her phone to remind her to go back down at 9:15 to the Boathouse. I got there at 9:26 and she and Mia showed up two minutes later. And it was fine, and they had a great time. And, they got to "level up" socially since Savannah had invited them to a party of mostly Juniors. They did not drink anything, they didn't smoke anything, nobody pulled them into the bushes. They just got to do a cool, free, exciting thing among peers outside at night.

tl;dr: I trusted Matilda and it worked. But I also told her in future I probably wouldn't allow her to go to an event that unstructured and at dark in the woods/park.

Anyway, both she and Mia had a great time in both instances and got to socialize with a lot of people and Matilda got to reconnect with a bunch of her Middle School friends.

I'm glad it all worked out and Matilda has such a good weekend, but I imagine a few extra grey hairs were achieved!

I'm glad it all worked out and Matilda has such a good weekend, but I imagine a few extra grey hairs were achieved!

I know that teenage Laura went off on plenty of adventures that would've given me a heartattack.

It was a bit of a parenting trust-fall (not fail!), and honestly I should have vetted it better. Also, I know that going forward these parties will eventually include drinking and drugs and making out and drama, so it's not like this is the end of worrying.

But I also remember the freedom and latitude I had at 15 and 16. My friends and I rode our bicycles to Midnight movies when we were 15, and rode home at 2am. And Matilda is much more responsible and sensible than I was at that age and with cell-phones it just makes it a lot easier to stay on top of things.

One of the trickiest things to learn in parenting is how much slack you give on the leash as they start to stretch out.

Glad to hear Matilda had a good time ... and it sounds like she's using her freedom responsibly (or as responsibly as a teenager can). And at least with a cell phone she can call for help when needed.

Huh, I thought I had missed Open Enrollment but it's apparently coming soon. They are excited to tell us about our 2022 benefits which sounds to me like more change, yay