Timelies all!

I am sooo tired, and I didn't even stay up late. sigh...

Allyson, I expect she feels the same.

Nods of sympathy for parents of toddlers and teenagers.

I'm trying to reduce my computer and television time and binge read instead. So far so good. More relaxing. Takes me back to my youth.

I haven't been around in awhile. It's hard to post on my phone. So forgive the info dump, I just need to get this out in a safe place my family doesn't visit.

The Cliffs Notes: My baby niece (13 months) was taken into DCF custody just before Christmas. It was a total shitshow. Drug abuse, domestic violence, severe mental illness. My brother's GF already had 3 children taken by DCF.

My brother fought the police who were there to assist DCF in taking her. He sent at least one to the hospital.He was tazered twice. He's now in a VA hospital inpatient program being treated for mental illness, but he'll likely have to serve jail time because you can't beat the shit out of cops. His GF has been squatting in their apartment for months.

My niece had a rough month in foster care, she was dirty and bruised and lost weight. My mom sent photos to her court advocate and my parents were cleared to take custody of her until the courts decide if my brother and his GF are fit to have custody.

Keep in mind, my older niece and nephew and their mom have been living with my parents for 12 years. My mom and dad just retired, and now they are looking at raising a child. She is safe, happy, and thriving with them.

Wow, Allyson. That's incredibly difficult and a complete horror show of a situation.

Thank god for your parents, and for you to provide stability.

You must be so stressed and sad and worried.

There was supposed to be a trial in June to determine if my brother and/or his GF are fit to be parents. But then the GF fired her court appointed lawyer. So that's been delayed until the end of July. I was going to go home for the trial, and I was looking forward to spending time with the baby.

My brother periodically sends me shitty texts blaming DCF for everything that has happened. His GF is convinced she's getting the baby back, and threatens to take the baby far away from us so we'll never see her again.

I've been preparing to adopt her. I love her so much. It's scary, and I have five million doubts a day. I'm worried about so many things, and also excited to be a parent and make her breakfast and walk her to school and and make messes in the garden.

Seeing a family therapist with experience in DCF and child development, reading a lot of books, researching daycare and local schools. It's all I can do right now until the trial. Just try and prepare as much as possible.

So that's the short of it.

Dear lords, Allyson. This is so much, and I am so sorry you and your family are going through this. And in all of this mess, it's really great that your niece has you and your parents fighting for her and her well being.

FWIW, friends of mine adopted their nephew from a mentally-ill sister under somewhat similar circumstances about ten years ago (no tazing that I know of, but including the mother blowing through several attorneys when they each advised her she didn't have a legal leg to stand on).

And after years of therapy, the sister's come to accept that her kid is thriving and happy where he is, and that she can have an auntly noncustodial relationship with him that is healthy for the both of them. It can happen, my friend's extended family survived to be whole again, and most of all the kid is entering teenagerhood with with only the normal amount of stress to contend with.

You're probably even more competent than my friends put together, so I totally believe you can pull this off.

Allyson, you're a wonderful person, and truly every parent has 5 million doubts a day. You're niece would be lucky to have you. I'm so sorry for everything your family is going through. If you need anything at all when you're visiting, give me a shout.

Oh, Allyson. So much love to you and your niece.

Allyson, first, what sj said about parental doubts. Also, I'm sorry this is such a horrible and stressful experience for your family. Your niece is fortunate to have such support and you will do a great job. Love and hugs.